I haven’t done a blog post like this in a while. For the past few months, my anxiety has been on the high side. And if you’ve ever experienced anxiety, you know it’s awful, and it can just take over your body at the most random times. I was out watering my flowers a few weeks ago, and out of nowhere, my body started shaking, and I felt like I was going to start crying. It’s one of those things where no matter how great everything is around you, anxiety will hop in at any moment. I try to make my blog a happy place, so it’s not often I share this side of my life. I feel it’s important to share a little about what has been going on today to help someone else struggling with the same.
I have been working to really control my anxiety the past few months, and some of the things I’ve been doing have definitely helped out a ton. With that being said, if you are going through any anxiety or depression, it’s in your best interest to talk to your doctor. They’ll have the best plan for you, but I’m sharing some small changes I made that have helped me control anxiety on my own. You don’t even have to be in your 30’s to follow this list. If I would have started following these things in my 20’s it would have helped me a lot.
When I turned 30, I promised myself that I would put my self-care and mental health first, and that’s what I’ve been doing. You would think that putting yourself first is easy, but it’s not. And if your love language is acts of service, you know what I mean.
Fifteen Ways to Be Happier in your Thirties
1. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit anymore.
This was a hard one for me. Not only because I thought my older clothes were cute, but I didn’t want to give up hope that I might fit them one day. After years of eating healthy, drinking water, my coffee black, counting macros, exercising, going to bed early, and not losing one pound, I realized my body was content with where it was at. Every doctor told me that I was healthy, so why did I still think I needed to be a certain BMI? There are days when I hate how I look but doesn’t everyone have those days? The best thing I ever did was toss out the clothes I’ll never fit into anymore. It helped me take away the pressure to lose weight, and it helped me love my body’s set weight. It does feel good to wear clothes that fit, and sizing is nothing but a number. It’s important to accept that your body/metabolism does, in fact, change as you get older, and it is out of your control. No one cares what you look like as much as you care what you look like.
2. Accept that not everyone is going to like you.
This was a big one for me, especially after spending more than a decade in front of the internet. If you worry too much about what others think, you’ll lose who you are. You’ll alter your personality or thoughts to please others, and that is exhausting. Being yourself is hard when you’re worried about how others will think of you. The best thing is to accept that not everyone is going to like you. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong or that you should change anything you’re doing. The people that do like you will like you for your authentic self, and those are the types of people you should surround yourself with in life. And it goes the other way too, you are not going to like everyone, and that is ok!
3. Don’t waste your time doing things that you don’t want to do.
I’m trying to get better at this. I’m a yes person, but also an introvert at times. I get excited when it’s doing things that bring me joy, like visiting coffee shops, walking around a cute town, planting flowers, playing tennis, picnic, or sitting at the beach. Things like going to bars, football games, or parties bring more dread than anything. It’s hard to say no when you don’t want people to be upset with you or think you’re a flake, but at the same time, don’t waste your time doing things that don’t bring you joy. This doesn’t mean you don’t like the person for saying no; it’s just you’d rather be doing something else with that person. It would be best if you gave a little here and here, but you don’t always have to say yes.
4. Let go of friendships that don’t bring purpose to your life.
This is one of the toughest ones. You can love a person but also know when it’s time to let go. Friendships, even best friends, sometimes have an expiration date. It doesn’t mean either did anything wrong; it just means that people grow into different people as the years go on. If you find yourself clashing with a friend or not finding joy in the same things anymore, just let go. I have love and respect for every relationship, past and present, in my life, but moving on and growing separately can be one of the healthiest things. Some people linger in friendships because they feel like they have invested so much, but maybe it’s time to cash out on your investment and put your energy into something different. And the best thing to do when letting friends go is to hold no hate in your heart, not anger, no regrets, and to remember the amazing moments spent together. 5. Fix what you don’t like
From a vanity standpoint, I have absolutely hated my teeth for twenty years. I have finally started the process of having them fixed. I hated smiling in photos on my right side because of the gap; I felt like my teeth were smaller than a toddler’s, and having them fixed has made me so much more confident. It’s something I wish I would have done in my twenties. This two-hour dentist appointment should have been scheduled years ago (let me know if you want a post about it!), but people go through life-hating things that are so easy to fix. Right now, I’m in the process of removing my tattoo (it doesn’t serve me anymore, and I regretted it), and I also had a few moles removed. Why spend years hating things that you can fix within minutes. I know it doesn’t seem like it’s important to fix things, but if it makes you happy, do it!
6. Don’t talk about other people.
This is something I have been trying to do. Gossiping is easy, and pointing out other people’s flaws helps you forget about your own. Talking about other people may feel good at the moment, but it’s toxic and brings absolutely no value to your conversations in the long run. I mean, Cady Heron said it best “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George’s life definitely didn’t make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” If you don’t know that quote, you need to close his computer and watch Mean Girls. This goes with the understanding that you’re not going to like everyone, but try not to show it. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind. I think it’s important to mention that talking bad about yourself is also a horrible habit to get yourself into. Manifest good thoughts about yourself and don’t talk bad about yourself to others. It will have them questioning those same thoughts about themselves.
7. Make time for self-care.
This is a big one. It’s easy to push off appointments and ignore things that bring you joy, but make time for yourself. Take hot baths, read a book, watch a movie, don’t cancel your doctor appointments (yearly physical, dermatology, dentist, eyes, obgyn), get a massage, and do things that help your mental health. Sometimes, I’ll lock myself in the bathroom and do a hair mask, face mask, listen to a podcast, take a hot bath, paint my nails, pluck my eyebrows, shave my legs, and I always feel like a million bucks after. Another essential self-care thing you can do is start going to a therapist a few times a month. This can benefit anyone! You don’t have to have anxiety, experience anything dramatic, or feel sad to talk to a therapist. Believe me; they’ll find something that you’ve been bottling up. Counseling is so important for mental health, and it’s helped me so much in my life during the hardest times. I don’t always like talking to family/friends about deep-rooted issues, and it’s better to have a professional and unbiased person there for you.
8. Start eating more vegetables and drink more water.
I don’t know what happened, but I’ve gravitated towards more cheese and frozen chicken nuggets this past year. I’ve been trying my best to drink more water and eat more vegetables. They have the best source of vitamins, and they do great things for your skin/health! I feel better when I fuel my body with better nutrition, but it is also important to treat yourself to the chicken nuggets and cheesecake now and then! I’m always an advocate of intuitive eating and moderation. But vegetables and hydration do help! My doctor actually told me that staying hydrated could reduce anxiety levels, and I think she’s right! Water is good for your skin, organs, and brain function. 9. Travel
I used to think that traveling was for your twenties. It’s not. Travel as much as you want and as often as you can. You don’t have to spend thousands flying to Mexico or Italy. Take a little road trip to the town over, go to the beach, sit at the lake, get out of town and see something new. I always feel happy and refreshed after taking a trip. I can’t wait to travel more this summer!
Not a day goes by where I don’t exercise. You don’t have to do anything big or strenuous, but one hour of movement every single day is one of the best things you can do for your body. My form of exercise is walking and tennis. I know that my anxiety levels are so much better after a long walk or a dose of endorphins. And as Elle Woods said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” To me, gardening is also a form of exercise. It’s a lot of hard work, and I’m always getting my steps in and my heart rate up while walking around the house. I am also going to get back into yoga next week since our yoga studio has opened up.
11. Go make up free
I’m a huge advocate of makeup-free days. Putting makeup on is actually my least favorite thing to do. I enjoy cleaning more. 6 out of 7 days are makeup-free for me. I think it’s important to embrace yourself without mascara or foundation covering up beautiful freckles, spots, and who you are. It’s also important to let your skin breathe. I don’t know what it is, but having no make-up makes me feel so much freer. Sometimes it’s easy to hide behind makeup, but you need to love every part of you. You can forget how naturally beautiful you are if you hide it too often.
12. don’t compare yourself to others (beauty/work life)
There is no timeline for where you need to be when you’re thirty. You don’t need to be married, you don’t need to be on your second or first child, and you don’t even have to have your career figured out yet. Don’t stress over a timeline just because the people in your life are ahead or behind you. Comparing your looks to others can also be dangerous, which is why I love the no-makeup days. Don’t look at others and think they have better hair, plumper lips, and no wrinkles, better cheekbones because honestly, you are made beautiful the way you are. I bet people are looking at you saying the same things about your beautiful traits. There isn’t much transparency online either, so comparing yourself to a highlight reel is pointless. Someone may now look at my photos and go, “wow, she has no gap in her front tooth” Well, we all know now that it was fixed, and it wasn’t something I was born with. We are not all made to look like each other or have the best of the best. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll feel a rush of freeness. 13. have social media free days.
These are so important. If you feel like you’re comparing your life, wanting more, or feeling down about social media, take a break. Most days, I take a photo of my food or something I’m doing, post it on my story, and immediately get off the app. I don’t spend time scrolling, and I always have much better days. I don’t want to feel bad about not hustling, not having the newest clothes, or not sitting on a beach in Tulum. Break free from social media as often as you can.
14. Less alcohol
This is something I’ve never had a problem with. I think it’s nice to sit on the porch with a glass of wine or a frozen cocktail by the pool now and then, but it’s never anything I crave. I never end a day going, “dang, I need a glass of wine.” I don’t drink wine to celebrate, and I don’t find joy in getting drunk. I hate how it makes me feel the next day, and I would rather drink a gallon of Kombucha or sparkling water over wine. I think having to have a drink every single day is problematic, and I stand by that. I think alcohol causes more problems than good in life. I’m not against it, just not dependent on it. Now, coffee, you won’t take that away from me. Cutting back on alcohol will help your mood, sleep, your skin, and energy.
15. Organize your surroundings
I’m still trying to be better at organizing my surroundings, but I let things go now and then. Keeping your spaces in your home, finances, and work-life organized can reduce so much stress. Every week, I work to organize one thing in my life. It may be a closet, a drawer, or even writing my events in my calendar. Staying organized keeps me feeling more grounded and less scatterbrained. I hope you can take a few of these tips from this blog post and apply them to your weekend. There are so many things I know I can be better at, and each day I thrive on being just a tiny bit better than before. ♥️
Questions for you
- What is something you’ve been doing to be happier?
- What is one thing on the list you could apply to your life?
- What are you currently struggling with right now?