Hello, My name is Taralynn & I am a recovering…

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After experiencing some life changing events over the past month, I have decided to re-write my about me section. This is the perfect chance to rewrite the direction my life is steering towards. I don’t want to sit back and pretend to be OK, settle with what I have, or skip out on the opportunity to do great things. In order to be great, you have to overcome. Overcome the past, overcome the fears, overcome the consequences, overcome the challenge, and embrace who you are. Everyone goes through struggles and it’s what makes us stronger human beings. The strong ones turn those struggles into inspiration for the rest of us. It’s taken me a while to get there, but this is my opportunity to help others. You don’t always have to be a doctor, a cop, or a hero to save a life.

I don’t feel the need to sugar coat many things anymore. Pretending to be happy all the time is just annoying and won’t actually make you happy. I have had a lot of people coming to me with their stories and I don’t think I need to hide behind mine anymore. I’m no longer ashamed.

“My name is Taralynn, and I’m a recovering…anorexic.”

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I’m pretty popular around the internet for my weight loss. But, food and fitness have always been a struggle for me. Finding the balance was one of the hardest parts of changing my life around. There are two extremes: being overweight and being underweight. I was both.

When I first started losing weight, I did everything right. I ate healthy, worked out, and went on with my regular day. After losing 60 lbs, the weight was a lot harder to get rid of and the obsession started to form. I was never educated on “how to lose weight”, I only ready things in magazine or the computer. At first, I focussed on the number on the scale, eating everything sugar free, working out all day, not eating fat, not eating carbs, counting calories…and the list goes on. It got really unhealthy and addictive. After months of this behavior, I was scary skinny. It wasn’t healthy, but in my “mind” it was. I gave up friends, hid things from my family, and only focussed on being “skinny.” I didn’t even know I was doing it because I thought that’s how I was supposed to live my life. I mean…that’s what every magazine or website said to do!

My mom walked into the bathroom one day before I was getting into the shower and she started to cry, which made me start to cry because right there… I knew I had a problem. When so many people constantly tell you how skinny and amazing you look, it goes to your head and you keep falling deeper into this “disorder”. The more your ribs and bones pop out, the happier you are. I could only find clothes in the kids section that actually fit. I stayed in my bedroom a lot because I was always cold, my liver was starting to shut down from overdosing on diuretics, my skin was always pale, I couldn’t walk half a mile without wanting to faint, and my hair was starting to fall out. My behavior was really off. I started doing things that weren’t normal. It felt like someone else was driving my body and I was just there.I still don’t like to admit it, but wasn’t fooling anyone.

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No one will ever understand until they have the disease. I didn’t choose to have it, I didn’t want to be is so much pain, and I didn’t know how to “just stop”. I agreed to seek help after a family intervention. After months of outpatient therapy (I’ll talk about that more later down the road), I was ready to start my new life as the healthy living Taralynn. I gave up all the artificial sweeteners, fat free foods, and started to focus on being strong! I started eating healthy diet with protein, vegetables, complex carbs, fresh fruits, and tons of water! Months after being cleared by the doctor, I was given an exercise regime and began to exercise as a way to be healthy instead of counting calories and focussing on a scale. I love the strong muscles in my legs, eating healthy foods, and being friends with my body. It has taken me almost four years to share this story, but I feel as if so many of my readers are struggling everyday and need someone to talk to. Don’t be afraid to tell someone and don’t be afraid of recovering. I was so close to dying and never thought I’d be alive to tell anyone this story. I’m not sure why I’m embarrassed to admit it, maybe because it shows a side of weakness but it shows more strength that I beat it. Of course I have days where I call myself fat or feel guilty for eating pizza, but those are things I’m still working on.

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(The healthy Taralynn.)

If you are facing any struggles, never hesitate to email me. Below are some great sites to visit if you feel like you’re experiencing similar behavior.

There is so much more to my story, but I feel like right now, starting small is the way to go.

Comments

  • Stephanie Cappelloni

    Tara
    You have always amazed me. I have been following your blog for a while now. I find you so inspiring. I find you even more inspiring now. It was very brave of you to put your story out there like this. It is amazing you were able to pull out of that and live a happy healthy lifestyle.

    Thank you
    Steph

    Reply to Stephanie Cappelloni
  • Jen

    Hi Tara,
    Congratulations on your recovery. I know that it is something that is a long process and was the hardest thing I have done in my life. I struggled with an eating disorder for 5+ years and did a great job at hiding it. I read your undressed skeleton blog often during that time. I found your blog again a year and a half after being in the hospital and it looks so different and wonderful 🙂 I am so inspired by your courage to share your story.

    Jen

    Reply to Jen
  • Amanda

    I remember when I first started following you last year I noticed we had very similar attributes. In the out two years I recently dealt with orthorexia (like anorexia) as well. It was to the point where I could have died any day. I used to sit and go through your site so inspired by your blog and interested in what you had to say. I can honestly say that your story is the closest that I have been able to relate to. I’m so happy that you have recovered and knowing how hard it is to deal with I want to really congratulate you.

    Reply to Amanda
  • M

    Hey 🙂 I don’t know what else to say about your story that no one has already said, the inspiring and thank yous and stuff so never mind… HAHAHA but it is though, inspiring, amazing and thank you for sharing and showing me and many how you can change if you really want to.

    I’m not Anorexic for sure but I am currently developing some… problems. In BMIs I’m actually labelled as normal and that was great! haha… but in my school I was considered as fat since damn everyone’s skinny and here ‘skinny’ is ‘sexy’. So a few weeks ago I suddenly started to become more conscious than I was, which is surprising since I didn’t think that’d even be possible. I began doing the two fingers down the that thing and buying laxatives and shit and when I was in the bathroom yesterday I suddenly thought ‘WTF am I doing’ but… still… I am slowly but surely building an obsession weight loss because haha i know it and i’m sure anyone would agree if they meet me that i’m not pretty or anything so being skinny is my only chance to finally feel comfortable in my own skin… uhm i guess I just needed to say it to no one in particular since I don’t have anyone to tell it to.

    Reply to M
  • Nastasia

    Taralynn, thank you for sharing your amazing story. I’m 19 and I also struggle with calling myself fat/feeling fat just by eating pizza, or a bowl of ice cream even though I work out on a regular basis.You’re such a good role model for me and if my blog can be half as inspiring as yours one day, I will be over the moon!

    Reply to Nastasia
  • Cassie

    I went through a very similar path of yours–I lost a healthy amount of weight, then too much! Thank you for sharing your story 🙂 it really means a lot!

    Reply to Cassie
  • vanessa

    Hi Tara! your story is truly inspirational and amazing! After reading your story i felt i could relate to your struggle, the disease and all. I did low carb atkins diet a few years ago and it worked great i lost 80 lbs in a span of 4 months. i was stuck in this mind set that carbs were evil and never was educated on what complete carbs were. so fruits were taboo and eggs were the golden ticket to my weightloss. i started losing hair, my skin got pale and constantly cold. after a few years of living on my own i adopted a vegan lifestyle. needless to say it was completely the opposite of what i thought i knew was right. i gained some weight but felt better. i guess I’m reaching out to you to ask personally if you feel that you got where you are today by mainly cutting out carbs and then adopting a healthier lifestyle. I’m confused about what path to take for quick but healthy shedding of unwanted pounds

    Reply to vanessa
  • Pipa

    thank you

    Reply to Pipa
  • Elyse

    inspirational

    Reply to Elyse
  • Megan

    I am in total shock! I’m so glad that you shared your story! I am a faithful follower of this blog. A few years back I lost 50 pounds and would exercise constantly, like every hour of the day, and I cut back to a 1000 calories a day. During that whole ordeal I developed cystic acne and it had to be treated by a dermatologist. I tried so many different medications that didn’t work, then I was put on birth control to get rid of the acne. It worked for the acne but I had gained all that weight back plus more! Looking back on my weight loss experience it was a blessing that I gained all that weight back because I believe I was starting anorexia. I couldn’t notice it because I was finally getting skinny, since I was overweight. Thanks for sharing your story, and I hope we can continue to get healthy together! xoxo

    Reply to Megan
  • Crystan Blanco

    Thank you for this. It’s hard to write about because it feels overwhelmingly embarrassing to admit that you have an ED (at least it is for me), but it’s much more common than everyone believes and should be spoken about openly.

    Reply to Crystan Blanco
  • l

    you are very strong. its hard to get better. ive tried it a few times, but i cant go through with it. i think youre amazing.

    Reply to l
  • mercy

    I love your story it’s so inspiring.I really need your HELP. I was in the hospital like a year and a half ago because I was almost going to have a heart attack I was over 300 pounds and couldn’t walk a block couldn’t go up the stairs i even had sleep apnea. Since last May i wanted to started living a healthy lifestyle and i never had the knowledge of how to eat really i just looked up how much calories i should eat. well after I lost and i was at 250 it was harder to loose weight it wasn’t coming off as fast very slow sometimes I would gain and i didn’t understand why. So i stopped eating carbs and gave up a lot of fattening things. Now i am 180 which is awesome but i’m just worried if i’m doing it the right way. i focus on calories i basically only eat fruit and veggies and chicken and fish maybe 4 times a week. My husband says I don’t eat enough but i tell him not to worry that i just don’t want to gain weight. i’m still very fat so i just want to know how do u know if u r having a eating disorder or u r just losing weight to live a healthier lifestyle cuz all my life i have been obese and now im wearing size la when i was 5x last year. after i eat my stomach gets super bloated even if im just eating a salad or veggies and that has never happened to me before and my bowel movements are not normal i get constipated and then i have diarrhea. I just want to know at what point do you know if you r having a eating disorder cuz i’m still fat and i’m not bony i’m just losing weight. please help me cuz sometimes i wonder if i’m eating enough.

    Reply to mercy
  • Anna

    I’ve been following you for a few years, and you are so inspiring and even more so now. You have a strong and beautiful soul, Taralynn. It takes a lot of courage to admit a thing like this. I wish you all the luck on the road to recovery. (: Peace and blessings.

    Reply to Anna
  • Baillie

    Taralynn, I have been a pretty loyal follower and fan for several years and I must say you are an amazing representation of character, integrity and positivity. I never leave your page without thinking “wow, I want to be like her!” and I know many others think the same. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and share your story in such an honest way displays a kind of strength that many are trying to find. I have never personally struggled with an eating disorder, but have loved ones who do, so I can empathize with the disparity it leaves you with. I want to thank you for sharing this on behalf of the impressionable young minds of girls and boys that read this and know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You speak powerful words!

    Reply to Baillie
  • Jordan

    Hi Taralynn, I just wanted to say that it shows how you have grown in the years that you can come out with something deeply personal to help other people. I am younger than you but I also understand exactly what experience you are talking about! Also, I just wanted to make you aware that the Garcina Combocha (probably butchered that) ads are using your before (green prom dress) and after picture and I don’t know if that’s legal. I couldn’t find your email but if you want to email me I have a screenshot of it. After all, it is your property. Keep shining bright!

    Reply to Jordan
  • Kaci

    Thank you so much for sharing.. I’ve learned that it’s something you will always “recover” from… I went through the same experience with gaining 40lbs in nursing school then lost 70lbs and couldn’t stop myself! It’s very scary and all I wanted was “control” of my body. I’m pregnant now and it’s been such a struggle for me to not have “control” over my body and let myself gain weight that is needed.. But I just remember one day at a time! Thanks again for the post.. Always feel good knowing other people can relate.

    Reply to Kaci
  • Sidney

    This is absolutely amazing. Ever since I was little I have always been skinny. But now that I started taking a couple medications I have gained a little bit of weight. I have begun to binge eat once and a while. And I thought it was ok because that meant I was going to be skinny again. But from reading this article, I realize how bad eating disorders are for girls and how important it is to have a healthy diet and exercise regimen. Thank you!

    Reply to Sidney
  • Rebecca

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve been a follower of your website for a few years now, but hadn’t visited it in a while. Something tonight drew me to your site again, and I’m so glad I stopped by. I’m going through something similar, though with the other extreme. I was very restrictive with my diet a couple of years ago and it gradually developed into an obsession that led me to binge eating/bulimia. It’s been two years now, and I’m still struggling with it. There are times when I fear I”ll never recover, but after reading your story, I feel like maybe there is still hope for me. Please continue doing what you’re doing and posting to this lovely blog! I hope I can be as strong as you and really start to recover from this terrible disorder. Thank you for being such an inspiration!

    Reply to Rebecca
  • jess

    Hi,
    I’ve been reading your post for years and I am shocked to learn this. you are an inspiration to alot of us and u inspire me to be healthy!! Keep doing what you do best and that’s encouraging us all to live a healthy and happy lifestyle!! Take care!

    Reply to jess
  • Alex

    Wow I have followed your blog for a few years now and never had any idea you struggled with an ED. Eating disorders run in my family and I myself have struggled with several and understand everything your saying. Once you recover it’s almost like you’re embarrassed and just want to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. I’ve always looked up to you as a role model for healthy living and the fact that you shared this just makes me respect you even more. Looking through all these comments it’s sad to see how many people struggle with this but it’s also nice to know we’re not alone…we are all here for you and thank you for sharing this!

    Reply to Alex
  • lauren

    Hi thank you for sharing this. It’s important for people struggling with this horrible disorder to accept help . I’m proud of you for getting help. I write while my best friend is dying from complications from having anorexia for over 12 years. Her body is shutting down essentially.
    she means the world to me. I wish she could have accepted help along the road.
    I just want to say I enjoy reading ur blog and instagram,
    I know we are far apart…I’m in ny but I’m here for you. Best of luck.
    Lauren

    Reply to lauren
  • Danielle

    I have been following your blog and website from pretty much the beginning and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Your courage for coming out with your problems and taking action on them is so refreshing to hear in a world like ours. You help so many girls with similar problems and thoughts. Even if you never read this, I just had to add to the comments by saying that you are an amazing figure in my life and you give me hope, which is such a powerful gift. Thank you and I look forward to more updates as the years go on,
    Danielle

    Reply to Danielle
  • Katheryne

    Hi Taralynn,

    As a recovering bulimic, thank you for sharing this! Don’t feel ashamed about the fact that you haven’t mentioned it before on your blog. I can relate with you. I actually decided to go study Nutrition in University (or College as americans say) WHILE I was still having symptoms of bulimia. I felt deeply ashamed to tell anyone this once I was less symptomatic. I hid it for many, many years from the ones I loved. It was only a few months ago that I admitted to my sister that I had struggled with this silently. I still have not told the rest of my family but maybe one day. 🙂

    I am proud to say I am not bulimic anymore. You and many other bloggers/intagrammers are a beautiful and healthy inspiration for me to focus on getting stronger and taking care of my body instead of putting myself down. The best that we can do is try!

    Have a great day!
    Katheryne

    Reply to Katheryne
  • Leah

    Been following your blog for a long time (back to the earliest “Undressed Skeleton” days) and you should be so proud of yourself for overcoming this disorder! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. People always talk about anorexia like it’s some sort of crime, but you wouldn’t criticize someone for having some other illness so it makes no sense. Best of luck with recovery Taralynn!

    Reply to Leah
  • Megan

    You are truly so inspiring! Your story was just what I needed to read tonight. I struggle with anorexia as well. You shouldn’t be ashamed by it at all. It is a terrible disease and we did not choose to have it! Recovery shows how strong of a person you are! Keep it up girl 🙂

    Reply to Megan
  • missie

    you’re blog has helped me so much. i know what you mean when you say the compliments feed the obsession; i’ve experienced the same thing. i didn’t realize i had a problem until a few months ago when my mom and i went out of town for the day; she decided we should go out for lunch someplace new that we’ve never been before…we ended up at a Steak N’ Shake and i came seconds away from having an anxiety attack at the thought of eating a burger. This article made me cry; you’re an inspiration because you’re real. you have real struggles and you have to deal with everyday obstacles just like the rest of us, thats the difference between you and the people in magazines. you’re relatable and i just wanted to thank you for sharing your experiences with everyone, because for those of us who feel alone it makes all the difference.

    Reply to missie
  • Kata

    Thanks so much, so brave, so inspiring!

    The worst of all is the SHAME, but you beat it and you let us all know that we are not alone.

    Let me add one more important thing (what I learnt from my mistake): All of you: PLEASE GO OUT AND ENJOY LIFE! Because years run away fast (I lost about 4), and no people worth feeling ashamed of yourself or how you look, what you think, what you believe, etc…and being banned from life by yourself and stuck in a house.

    GET RID OF toxic, selfish and superficial people (where I live somehow 80% of people prove to be such :(…), and after they are long gone you will feel better and 1.) be able to identify toxic people and avoid them, 2.) will also be able to identify GREAT people – and enjoy life with them :)!

    Have a lovely day all 🙂

    Reply to Kata
  • Ashley C

    You are brave and strong. Just keep swimming, we all support you!

    Reply to Ashley C
  • sarah

    I followed your journey for so so long, then i kind of got out of touch with tumblr, so didn’t see it most days as before. but every now and again i would remember and look it up to see how you were going. it was great and so inspiring. you were always happy and from stories, full of confidence and talent. i am so proud of you for sharing all of this. every bit – from the start of your weight loss to the end of your recovery. thank you for inspiring people to be confident and happy. thank you for being strong. thank you thank you. i’m thinking of you and hope you are well, sarah xx

    Reply to sarah
  • Molly@This Life is Sparkling

    Thank you for sharing this 🙂

    Reply to Molly@This Life is Sparkling
  • Tasha

    You are such an inspiration girly! I love your blog and recipes. I am not very good with words but I am glad you were brave enough to share your story and come forth. You will do great things for others going through the same thing with your web site, I’m sure.

    Keep doing well!

    Reply to Tasha
  • Sherie

    Hello Taralynn, I happened upon you looking for a recipe, I actually forgot which one. Your very powerful words at the top of your new blog stood out. I am very impressed about the fact you are facing your fears. I am 64 years…. I know what fears are all about. So happy for you. Life is great, and i wish more of us could find our way to see it as you have. I will be thinking of you and sending good vibes. Love and best wishes from Sherie

    Reply to Sherie
  • Becca

    Cheers to you for having the courage. The courage to speak out, the courage to leave a relationship that wasn’t right for you, the courage to start a business, the courage to share from your heart every day with your readers. We love you! Keep on keepin on sister!

    Reply to Becca
  • Chelsea

    Taralynn,

    I just want to say how brave I think you are for sharing this. I am 25 years old, and am in the same place as you. I lost over 65 pounds when I was 22, and became obsessed with losing more weight and being “skinny.” I would starve myself, exercise all day, and take diet pills and diuretics. If I ate anything at all, I’d purge and commit to an extra hour of cardio. There’s much more to this story, but I’ll just say that I soon became very sick and unhealthy, and knew I needed help.
    I am still recovering, and it is a choice you have to make every day. No one understands until they experience this disorder themselves, and even though some days it is a struggle, recovery is worth it. Thanks for sharing your story! You’re on the right track and deserve every happiness that comes your way!

    Chelsea

    Reply to Chelsea
  • Laura M.

    Taralynn,

    Thank you for sharing this on your blog! I’ve been reading your posts religiously for the past two years. Keep your head up because you look fantastic! Enjoy Charlotte!

    -Laura

    PS: Have you considered becoming a coach for Girls on the Run? I think you’d be a great fit!

    Reply to Laura M.
  • Amanda

    Hi Taralynn,
    It think it is so brave and IMPORTANT that you shared your story! I am sure it is very difficult but it is important that you share that being skin and bones isn’t the end goal here, being healthy and physically fit is. When I first stared eating healthy and working out I found your blog via pinterest (who hasn’t). I started reading through a bunch of your old posts, even back to the ones where you were unhealthy thin and shared your weight. Do you ever think about going back and re-writing those? I don’t think you should take them down because they are apart of your story and that is important, but maybe you could share something on those old pictures acknowledging that being as skinny as you were is not the goal. This might be helpful for your younger readers who look up to you. Just a though.

    Unrelated, I was wondering how you workout twice a day? I saw on a post a couple weeks ago that you were working out from 9am-11am and then again at 5:30 or 6. I get super sweaty at the gym but I don’t want to take a shower and re-dry my hair etc. twice a day. Any tips?

    Your the best!
    Amanda

    Reply to Amanda
  • Megan

    Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been struggling with bulimia for a long time and when I first came across your blog, it made want to be healthier and happier. You defiantly influenced me to want recovery, and I’m getting there!

    Reply to Megan
  • Natalie S

    Taralynn,

    I have to say I was so relieved and excited for you reading this post. Like you said, you only know the disease if you’d had it. I’m right there with you. I’d noticed your healthy lifestyle changes in your posts/pics a while back and was excited for you because I knew recovery was going on, even though it went unsaid. Thank you for being so bold to share with other women. It’s a real sickness and disease that NEEDS to be talked about. The more I was silent the more mine festered. Thanks for being true to yourself and to the thousands of women that need to hear this!

    Natalie

    Reply to Natalie S
  • J

    I’m recovering too. I think in a way I’ll always be in recovery – it’s nice to know I have a buddy along for the ride.

    Reply to J
  • Tabitha Gouge

    Thank you so much for being an inspiration!! I love reading your blog and I refer to it daily! You are such a beautiful person inside and out don’t ever change that!

    Reply to Tabitha Gouge
  • Tana

    I just want you to know that I’m so proud of you.

    Reply to Tana
  • Ashton Jury

    I think you’re doing a great job, and you look wonderfully fit! Good luck with everything that you are going through right now, everyone’s journey is different and challenging and you are handling yours with such class. Just have fun with your new friends, and be 23! I’ve been a fan for a while, and can’t wait to read more about your adventures and try some of your new recipes! <3

    Reply to Ashton Jury
  • Nena

    I am so glad that you came forward with your story and shared your struggles with all of your readers/fans. I know that it had to be hard to admit the truth to everyone and am very proud of you for doing so. I’m so happy to hear that recovery is going well for you and the last set of photos on this thread.. you look fantastic. Best wishes, hun!

    Reply to Nena
  • Bernardita

    You’re really really REALLY THE BEST PERSON THAT I KNOW! you’re most strong that everything, you inspired me,i need the strong that you’re and recovery myself the this obsession :’)

    Reply to Bernardita
  • Sydney

    Just wanted to say that I have been on the road and am happy to see you coming this way too. I hope you remember that it’s okay to be not okay sometimes, and that it is what makes you real. As they say the imperfections make you perfect.
    Thank you for sharing your story, and I am certain that this huge step in sharing your story with the public will definitely end in a happy and healthy you – the true self 🙂
    Stay strong and enjoy the journey, because in the end you will see yourself with smiles and pride.

    Reply to Sydney
  • back pain

    It is so brave of you to come forward and admit that you have this type of disease. A lot of girls with this condition would never come clean with it whether they’ve overcame it or still going through it. For girls that overcame anorexia they are embarrassed about being in that situation so they tend to deny it and for girls that are still have anorexia they are in denial because they are still in this “skinny” state of mind which is so unhealthy and dangerous. I’m proud of you not only for deciding to live a healthy lifestyle but also for sharing your story to inspire and help girls that might be in the situation that you were.

    Regards,
    Toni

    Reply to back pain
  • Whitney

    This is a very brave and inspiring post. Thanks for being so open and genuine about your story. For the record, I’ve always thought you are beautiful in all of your photos – before, after, or in between. It has nothing to do with your weight, you’re just a naturally stunning woman – inside and out! Thanks for your honest and inspiring posts!

    Reply to Whitney
  • Melissa

    I feel like I’m just repeating what everyone is saying, but I too want to say thankyou so much for sharing this. I have also followed you for a few years now. At first I would reference it just to make an occasional healthy snack. However, I began obsessively looking at blogs like yours this past November to May and found myself in a similar situation. I became obsessed with working out and eating healthy… Food, calories, when I was gonna work out… That’s all that was on my mind. I became significantly colder in school when everyone else was perfectly content with the temperature. My mood was pretty negative and distant for a few months. Never really thought of changing my lifestyle though because like everyone said, the comments were a form of positive reinforcement to me. Until one day I heard people were becoming concerned and I just thought, ” who me? I just eat healthy and work out everyday….” But really a was like an addiction, and no, you don’t realize it until someone says something and you take a long hard look at yourself. Anyway, I took all the proper actions and went to the doctor and I am working on gaining weight (and muscle back!) and I am SO happy to say I feel like it’s going really really well especially for these last few weeks. I still reference your page though for reasons like this… To be inspired. You truly are an inspiration and it takes a strong person to share one story… Let alone two. So thankyou!!! 🙂

    Reply to Melissa
  • Jess

    Thank you so much for sharing you are amazing

    Reply to Jess
  • Sally Salander

    I new it from the very first second I found your blog. As many others of the commenters here, I saw the hints because I went through the same pain as you did, and I am still on my journey. You have the great gift to inspire people and I am so glad to see that you are using it to fight this disease and I want to thank you with all my heart.

    <3 Sally

    Reply to Sally Salander
  • Alyssa

    Taralynn, thank you so much for sharing this. As a popular health blogger I know that this was huge for you to even talk about (not that it’s easy for anyone to talk about, but just the fact that it’s exposed to anyone who wants to read it). I’m loving this transparent Taralynn! I have been in the same place as you. I don’t think I have ever even used the word “anorexic” to describe what I was doing, but I know that it truly was the case. I would nearly faint just standing sometimes. I love your blog that much more that you can be honest, open, and real- it makes your story even more beautiful. You are such an inspiration to me and thousands of other ladies out there 🙂 Also, I have to say congratulations on overcoming the struggles of anorexia.

    Reply to Alyssa
  • Mindy

    This is the most inspiring blog post you have ever posted. I have been reading your blog for 3 years now, and I had tears in my eyes. Four years ago, I also struggled with anorexia and it was a dark time. Even though I’m past it, and healthy, it still lingers like the plague when I have my bad days and feel gross. If I ever thought you were the most inspirational person ever, you’re an even bigger influence now. Thank you sweet girl! Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee!

    Reply to Mindy
  • Gaby

    That took so much courage to admit! As someone who’s struggled with the disease and has followed your journey, it was evident there was something going on. I’m so glad you got help and can live your life! Congratulations! Stay strong.

    Reply to Gaby
  • Sarah

    Hi Taralynn,

    I’ve been a big fan of your blog for years now. I don’t make a lot of comments but I’m faithfully reading your post, trying your recipes, and I was hoping to become Team Taralynn in the near future. I’ve struggled with weight in the past lost weight from depression, then it spiraled into bulimia, but I am now recovered. Not sure if you can call it recovered since I’m just now a binge eater that no longer purges. You have given me hope that I can have a healthy weight and overcome my food and weight demons. I really am glad you have allowed us all into your life and become an amazing role model. I’m so happy for your new friends, adventures, and life! You deserve happiness.

    Your friend,

    Sarah

    Reply to Sarah
  • Erin G. @ Treats and Sneaks

    So happy you shared this! I absolutely love reading about your travels and eats and it’s definitely nice to read a bit more about who you’ve been and the healthy inspiration you are today 🙂 Stay strong!

    Reply to Erin G. @ Treats and Sneaks
  • Stephanie

    I’ve found myself thinking about this post all weekend. I never admitted it, but know deep down that I had a bit of an ED for a long time after having my second son (who turns 3 tomorrow). There were many days where – after exercise – I would net between 500 and 800 calories, and that made me feel proud. And you’re absolutely right about others telling you how amazing you look – it just fuels the disorder in your mind, it really does. Anyhoo – thank you times a million for this post and for being so open and honest. You and your blog are amazing. 🙂

    Reply to Stephanie
  • Ellie

    Thanks for sharing this!! We are all here for you. I love reading all of your blog posts! You are so strong to have OVERCOME. Such an inspiration to many!!

    Reply to Ellie
  • Rachael

    Hi Taralynn! So glad to hear your life is continuing to move in a positive direction. Your work is absolutely great and an inspiration to many, including myself. Thank you for being such a positive outlet for so many of us and for creating a community full of amazing people!

    Reply to Rachael
  • Stacy

    WOW. I cannot thank you enough for sharing with us your story. So many girls falling into this same trap that you did, including my sister and I. It all starts out innocent, trying to lose unnecessary weight and then creeps in as a controlling obsession disorder. I always wondered if you had trouble with this but of course was never going to accuse. My sister and I have always looked up to you for advice and as a role model. We instantly knew when you started eating real peanut butter and things like that, that something had changed. Thank you so much for truly being an inspiration. I am going to share this story with my sister to help her try and over-come her eating disorder. Thank you, Taralynn. I truly thank you for sharing this story.

    Reply to Stacy
  • Florencia

    Hi Taralynn. Since I met your Tumblr I tough you have a hard fight with equilibrium. You always an inspiration for me because you’re pure strength. Hope you understand me with my ugly english. xoxo

    Reply to Florencia
  • Kelsey

    Taralynn,

    You have been an inspiration to me for so long and you are even more so now for being brave enough to reveal your struggles! You are such a vibrant, positive person and I know only great things are ahead for you 🙂

    Reply to Kelsey
  • Jade

    I’m so happy for you! I’ve been following your blog and I saw your patterns of eating/exercising and I was suspicious because they sounded a lot like mine when I struggled with the same thing… my journey was the same – I’m 5 ft. 4 in. and I lost 55 lbs, was healthy, got obsessed, and got down to 96 lbs.. and my family saved me too because when you’re in that mindset, it’s really hard to break out of it by yourself.. if I can just offer one piece of advice (take it or leave it); focus on health and a strong body instead of clothes size and scale weight.. you’ll find, like I did, that you actually love the way you look more than you ever did when you were such-and-such pounds, could count your ribs, and had more self-control than anybody else. You still get to be proud of your self-discipline, but now it’s coupled with a strong, healthy body and a happy, balanced, and much more energetic you. 🙂 Congratulations again!

    Reply to Jade
  • Jessica

    You are so brave to share this with us. THANK YOU. You are truly awesome in every way. Keep going, keep on being inspiring and amazing. And again, thank you for sharing.

    Reply to Jessica
  • lablune

    Thank you for sharing this.
    <3

    Reply to lablune
  • Camila

    Congratulations on have taken a HUGE step, it is very hard to admit or tell others when one has an ED!! I can relate to every word you wrote, and as you said it is extremely hard to “just stop”. I feel that nowadays, there are so many lifestyles and extreme diets (paleo, vegan, gluten free, raw, frutarians) and lots of frustration for having the perfect body, because it is what society has imposed on us, that it gets very difficult to know how to keep a balance between eating right and exercising, and not and go to extremes of starvation and over-exercising.

    Thank you so much for making me feel that I am not alone and congratulations for overcoming it! Good luck!!

    Reply to Camila
  • Arianne

    so proud of you. I have body issues too but I don’t do anything about it… I may or may not have gone through something similar to anorexia, but I love food so much, it didn’t quite get to an extreme. I also noticed that when I didn’t eat, I just gained more weight, which was weird. Anyway, again, I’m proud of you for overcoming it.

    Reply to Arianne
  • Beca

    Taralynn,

    You are brave, you are strong and you are beautiful. Thank-you for this entry.

    Beca

    Reply to Beca
  • Sarah

    Hi Taralynn, thank you for sharing this. You didn’t have to but you did and you might not realize it now but you will have even more strength within yourself and your life. I’ve read your blog since 2011 (I don’t think I’ve ever commented until now, I’ve always been just the reading type) and I’ve always known deep down you were in/dealing/coping with an ED because I had one as well and it was all too familiar. I consistantly had in my mind you’d discover real happiness and find healing through healthy relationships, eating real food, and going through the ebbs and flows of emotions without taking it out on your body and I think you are and have been doing just that! I went through just about the same struggle, overweight to healthy, then healthy to underweight and now I’m healthy, and consider my ED behind me (My struggle was between 2005-2010) but I always know that it’s something that can rear it’s ugly head back at me (I still see the same therapist I’ve seen since I was 22 when I sent myself to inpatient). I know when I need to reach out and use my resources to keep my head straight. I’m now 27, married and we are expecting our first child together after being together almost 6 years. I couldn’t have made my life I have now with my ED.

    Thank you again for being real, and doing it on your terms. This is your healing and you will only grow from this.

    Sarah

    Reply to Sarah
  • Emily

    Taralynn- Although I religiously follow your blog, I’ve never commented on anything. But this story really spoke to me. As a recovering anorexic as well (jeez that feels weird to say), your story is so comforting to hear and makes me so proud to be a part of a community of girls that, although we don’t always show it, are very strong and have been through so much. I can’t tell you how much I admire you and your life, especially your recent changes, and hearing that you have been through something similar to me gives me hope.
    You’re a wonderful, wonderful girl and I don’t even know if you read everyone’s comments (you’re so popular these days!!!) but I just wanted to say it’s really heartwarming to read this and makes me feel more understood.

    Reply to Emily
  • Izzy

    Thanks for this, Taralynn! You are so brave and such an inspiration!!! Do you mind posting the other sites you mentioned above? Thank you.

    Reply to Izzy
  • Katherine

    Hi Taralynn. I’m usually a quiet reader, but this post is something I really relate to, so I had to comment. As someone who has gone through anorexia and bulimia, this post hit really close to home. I’ve always had SO much respect for you, but this post just made my respect for you increase an insane amount. You’ve always been such an inspiration to me, and only an incredible person could continue to inspire even when they are struggling with internal battles. I still have trouble writing about my past, so the fact that you wrote such a personal post is so incredible to me. Your health is so important, and you are so strong. I KNOW you will beat this. The wonderful thing about the blog world is that everyone is so supportive of each other, so we will ALWAYS be here for you. You don’t have to put on a strong facade. It’s okay to be human. We love you for who you are!

    Reply to Katherine
  • Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves

    Taralynn, it is so awesome that you’ve been taking the strides to find balance in your life and to recover from anorexia. I’ve always struggled with finding balance as well. When I wanted to lose weight, I went way too far and developed an eating disorder that resulted in lack of energy, crabbiness, constantly being cold, and hair loss too. I’m happy to say that those days are of the past, but the journey has taken a long time for sure!
    I actually did notice that you’ve been eating more, and I’ve been soooo happy to see that! 🙂 Keep it up, girl!

    Reply to Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves
  • Ariel

    I want to email you but don’t know your email address?

    Reply to Ariel
  • Hannah

    You don’t know how much you are benefitting, protecting, encouraging and last but not least inspiring people everywhere on the world wide web. I have read your blog from the very beginning and have followed you ever since. As I continue on my journey of becoming confident and developing a healthy mindset regarding body image and aesthetic ideals, this post made me stop in my tracks. What people truly crave, deep down inside in the honest truth, because that is the realistic path to success. Instead of being a stumbling block by masking your struggles, you chose to become a true blessing to humans all around you who struggle along side you. By choosing to live your life in a healthy reality, you are bringing those around you closer to reality. May the Holy Spirit guide you as you battle against inner demons, which you will certainly overcome with the strength of the Lord.

    Reply to Hannah
  • Mathilde

    Taralynn, thank you for sharing your true story. It is really hard to loose weight, to love our bodies, to eat healthy and exercice. I struggle all the time and it has been like that for years. I have always admired you, and I read a lot of blogs about fitness and health. Sometimes, it is really frustrating to see people succeeding. It seems so easy … All the girls look happy, healthy, perfect. And I am like: why can’t I be like them ?

    It is brave of you to admit that it is not easy to be skinny. Thank you for reminding all of us that being skinny doesn’t make you love your body. That loosing weight doesn’t make you happy and healthy. That it is hard for everyone.

    Now, I admire you even more ! You can be proud of yourself for all these reasons ! Good luck for the future 🙂

    xxx
    Mathilde

    Reply to Mathilde
  • Annie

    I just wanted to say thank you for being so brave and for sharing something so personal with all of us. My story is almost identical to yours. It baffles me how something so seemingly healthy can turn into something so destructive. I have been in recovery for the past four years and it seems like I take one step forward and two steps back. But the past three or four months have been the healthiest I’ve had in my entire recovery process and I’d like to thank you and your blog for giving me the inspiration to keep going. The way you’ve healed your relationship with exercise and eating because that is my hardest hurdle to overcome. It’s really inspiring to see your flexibility and willingness to try new foods and restaurants while you’re on the road — I know I’m not quite there yet but hope to be soon! Wishing you and Mr. Grumples and Ed free life wherever it takes you 🙂

    Reply to Annie
  • Puja

    I feel…. relieved to hear this. Everything just seems so much more real because in real life – this happens. Who knows what is happening behind closed doors? I feel in a very similar boat to you – food and fitness can be a struggle sometimes and my thoughts on previously going to med school or be a nutritionist has changed (I want to do Economics now) because I know I won’t be able to handle hearing about ‘food’ and ‘fitness’ 24/7. I know I am passionate about both things and when I’m in a fitness ‘cycle’ I feel amazing – but when I focus too much on it – try to be absolutely perfect and everything, things turn bad. For me, it’s not healthy to focus on it all day, I find that when I focus on my life, things around me and everything else but also do fitness/food (not very strictly) it’s so much better. To not take things ‘personally’ or ‘too seriously’ because when things start to get too serious or too strict, it all starts to go wrong. Life is about family, friends, events, things to do, places to see – not solely about fitness/food – yes, being a foodie, food is important in life, but its not the most important thing in the world to only eat certain foods, to only eat certain amounts…. put it this way: I like to ‘live a little’.

    This post came at such a great time for me too, as today I have felt down all day, I was meant to go on a run but didn’t this morning – that’s okay – I’ll go when I feel like it… it’s not the end of the world. 😀
    Thank You,
    xoxo,

    BerryBloomXO.com 

    Reply to Puja
  • EVA

    Taralynn,

    I’ve been going through a hell of a year trying to GAIN weight. I lost a ton due to my gastroparesis. I’m so scarily underweight that it is literally almost impossible for me to function, so I was admitted into one of the best eating disorder inpatient facilities in the country to help put on a couple of pounds. I do not have an eating disorder, so living with people that did for 12 days straight was EXTREMELY heartbreaking. It was so sad that their head could manipulate them in such a way that they couldn’t even control. I’m sorry you went through that, but am glad that it’s (basically) all in the past now.

    Reply to EVA
  • Julie

    So proud of you for writing this post! I suffered from depression in high school which then led to poor eating habits, so I kind of know what you went through. It’s awful that it gets a stigma, when so much of it is just a helical imbalance in your brain that you don’t know how to get rid of! You look amazing and I love that you are focusing on eating the right balance of foods and gaining muscle! You go girl!

    Reply to Julie
  • Caitlin Perrier

    Thank you so much for this, Taralynn. “It felt like someone else was driving my body and I was just there.I still don’t like to admit it, but wasn’t fooling anyone.”This part especially resonated with me, and your inspiring and strong words could NOT have come at a better time for me, thank you and I love reading your blog!

    Reply to Caitlin Perrier
  • Julia

    Wow, you’re just amazing! I believe that it’s so hard to share this. Hopefully you feel better now! You don’t have to hide anything anymore.
    This post shows exactly how strong you’ve become the last time! So inspiring! So awesome! Keep going girl!!!

    Reply to Julia
  • Melanie

    You took a very awesome…very brave step today. You continue to encourage and inspire so many. Thank you!

    Reply to Melanie
  • Olga

    To be honest, I’ve started reading your website since the beginning. At first I loved it, you were a great inspiration for me. Ive even once written to you an email but you never responded to it. nvm. Still after some time I realized that there is no point in following you. Not only were your ingredients not available in place where I live(Poland) but also using only sweeteners and many really unhealthy things while cooking, made me scary 🙁
    I am glad that you realized that it is not the way you should go. I am glad you back Taralynn 🙂

    Reply to Olga
  • Wonni

    This one is great! I really had some tears in my eyes while reading.
    I came to your blog through Pinterest while I had my crazy weightloss time. I did not feel very well at that point, ´cause i lost a lot of weight, was obsessed with avoiding “bad” foods and exercised my butt off. I was proud when people told me how good I looked that skinny.
    I must say, that I was NEVER skinny. I´m big boned, short and very muscular because of working hard at our little farm.
    I just lost my fat. Boobs and butt said goodbye. My face was shrunken.
    My hubby stopped me. He didn´t like me anymore. That was a shock!
    I always thought he wanted me to be skinnier. … I was convinced that he just didn´t tell me.
    I was wrong. We talked a few hours and he begged me to stop this way of life. He was worried about my health.
    That was two years ago. I still watch what I eat most of the time, sure. But I stopped working out like a beast.
    Yes, my pounds came back… but I´m very confindent with it.
    Everyone has a different bodytype. And there is only one thing that really counts… feeling comfortable with yourself.

    Thank you for that post, Taralynn. This will help a lot of girls staying on track THE HEALTHY WAY! ♥

    Reply to Wonni
  • Desiree

    Thank you for sharing!
    I hope everthing will goes well, I know how difficult this journey is, will and can be.
    I haven’t been on your blog for ages because it wasn’t like how it was 2 years ago and now I know this, it explains a lot 🙂
    Hope you can and will write some more of your getting back to healthy journey.
    Good luck girl!

    Reply to Desiree
  • Allie

    Thank you so much for sharing, Taralynn! You have always inspired me, and will continue to do so! You’ve helped me so much with recipe ideas and workouts! I know that everyone that follows your blog, and myself, will continue to support you!
    <3

    Reply to Allie
  • Shannon

    I enjoy your ability to open up to complete strangers regarding your struggles. You will be met with love and hate on this topic but your true supporters/followers will always think of you as someone that has been a shining star for health in recovery at both overweight and underweight. Your blog will now reach ALL people struggling with either overeating or under-eating. You should feel fantastic about sharing your struggle with your fans. Congratulations on your progress. You are one of the strongest people I’ve never met. 😉 Again, congrats on your progress.

    Reply to Shannon
  • Jessie

    Thank you for sharing you have been an inspiration to me for so long I read your instagram and blog every day actually I always look forward to it ,please keep writing/posting and remember to keep your head up we love you.

    Reply to Jessie
  • Kelly

    Taralynn thank you for sharing your history and for beeing so brave and kind for explaing this on the blog.
    I got a little confused…since I have been following you since the beggining…. Could you tell us a little more regarding the recovery? What exactly was wrong?

    Reply to Kelly
  • Brittany

    Thanks for opening up with us all Taralynn. I know you probably already know this, but we all think that you’re awesome & we will always be here for ya! Keep being strong girl!

    Reply to Brittany
  • Katie

    Thanks for sharing Tara. I’ve always loved your blog and reading about your life, and it’s such a relief to hear that you’re healthy now and working on being happy. You got this!! <3

    Reply to Katie
  • Christina B

    You should be extremely proud of yourself for the progress you’ve made Taralynn! I’ve suffered from the same issue in the past and it can be easy to get lost in the problem and bad habits when everyone is telling you how good you look. I didn’t even realize how skinny and emaciated I looked until I look back on the photos now. But you should feel blessed to be one of the lucky ones who turned their lives around and who now leads a healthy, active lifestyle. You are definitely an inspiration!

    Reply to Christina B
  • Kathi @ Queen Jarrell

    Thank you for inspiring others! I really associated with your post. Recovery is a hard thing. I talk a little about it on my blog, but I would love to be more open. Keep up the good work. You are awesome!

    Reply to Kathi @ Queen Jarrell
  • Valerie

    You have such an amazing story! While I’ve never been “overweight” or “underweight” weight is something I struggle with very much and just being happy with myself. You are such a strong person for overcoming anorexia and for sharing it. Thank you for sharing your story, you are so inspiring.

    Reply to Valerie
  • Samantha H

    When I was 17 and at my worst, bones became my obsession. If I couldnt see certain bones I felt overweight. I was also in a horribly toxic home environment. My college soccer coach was the one that helped, banned my from practices and games, would sit with me and eat, etc, essentially saved me. The worst part about the disorder is obsession over self image whether it be bones, muscles or numbers on the scale. Now being 26 (almost 10 yrs later) and married I still face the issue. Thankfully I have a wonderful husband who knows my past and my triggers. The fact that we are wanting to start a family soon helps more than I ever thought. Being healthy (not thin) is my number 1 priority now. Thanks for taking your popularity and turning it into something positive and for others to relate to and to realize it is okay, they are not alone and never will be. Kudos to you!

    Reply to Samantha H
  • Amber

    Thank you so much for sharing, it’s nice knowing that you’re not alone. You’re amazing Taralynn!

    Reply to Amber
  • TIa

    You’re very brave. Congratulations on taking that step and putting it all out there. Not that you had to do it, at all. But I thought you deserved a congratulations on being so brave. You undoubtedly will help some of those going through the same struggle. I went through it for a short while, and will never fully admit it, because it still has some control over me. I wish you all the happiness in the world!! Thank you for being so candid and so real.

    Reply to TIa
  • Leigha @ The Yooper Girl

    Love this so so so much <3 I've struggled with ED's and you really can't explain them to someone that hasn't dealt with them. That's why I love my blogging friends so much; we can all help each other. I finally feel like I have a balance with living healthy but not restricting, and it's one of the most freeing feelings in the world. I really want to write my post soon!

    Reply to Leigha @ The Yooper Girl
  • Amelia

    I truly understand you because I was anorexic too. I had in my head that I wasn’t skinny enough and ate only one meal daily and exercised after it just to lose the weight that I though I had put on with that small meal. It was horrible.I couldn’t sleep at night because my stomach hurt so bad.I needed food,I was craving a lot of food but I truly wouldn’t put it on my mouth and I didn’t! It is very hard to beat anorexia because you don’t realize that you are ill.You think that it is a normal thing once it catches you and you truly don’t listen to anybody that tries to make you understand the contrary. It also took me 4 years to understand that skinny isn’t gratifying and that I couldn’t live like that. That wasn’t a lifestyle. That was torture! Even now I have some issues about food(I try to eat healthy,to stay away from processed food) and body image issues(I wanna see my abs defined). But now I don’t want to be morbid skinny. I want to be healthy and fit! I want to have a lean and strong body! I am on my healthy eating and exercising lifestyle!

    Reply to Amelia
  • Emily

    Taralynn– I just cried… but in a relieving kind of way… I have emailed you a few times, mostly for venting, because my life has had it’s difficulties. I am not afraid to post this in public now though. I had never been the “too skinny” type, but I have struggled with disordered eating habits… A lot has happened and changed for me over the past few years, senior year I became underweight. No one knew it because I wasn’t skin and bones. Then I went to college and gained 30 pounds… and the unhealthy habits began. Then last year I began my sophomore year in college and I knew I needed to lose weight again. I began dieting again and then tragedy struck me in many ways… my long term boyfriend broke up with me in January and the addictive disordered eating habits ensued again. I was in a very bad place. I was depressed and could not find the strength to change… until May. May is when my best friend Jessi passed away. She was one of two that really knew the real me, faults and all, but instead of falling back into depression (which she helped me out of…) I found inspiration and motivation. I owed my best friend to get healthy both physically and mentally. She struggled with weight and insecurities like I do. We understood each other. I know I have to get healthy for her. I started my blog for her. My new journey for her… I just released it last week and I already feel like a new person. I have always looked up to you Taralynn for years, you are a role model and even more so for me now. You admitting this is Not weakness, it is the greatest strength one can have. Now I feel like I can follow you more closely as you go on this Journey too… I am sorry this comment is so scattered and poorly written, but it is just my thoughts right now. Thank you for being you

    Reply to Emily
  • Christina

    Thank you so much for this. I can’t imagine how simultaneously difficult and freeing it must have been for you to write this post. You have the ability to positively influence such a wide audience, and I think it’s incredible that you recognize this and are choosing to do so. Major kudos to you, Tara! I can’t wait to see what comes next.

    Reply to Christina
  • Becky

    It takes a lot of courage to talk so openly about something that you feel shows your “weakness”. But as you say yourself, it really shows your strength and how much you’ve grown in the past years.

    I’m on a weight loss journey myself and while I’m nowhere near being underweight, sometimes I do struggle with unhealthy behavior. I tend to get too focussed on my goal, not allowing myself this or that in order to reach my next goal (which is a certain number on the scale). Also I often feel like I can’t really enjoy “unhealthy food” (even in moderation) because all I can think about is that it will make me gain back my weight.

    It’s hard to admit all this but I’m glad I’m aware of these problems so that I can work on them before it’s getting as dangerous as it was for you. It really helps me to read your blog and see that you struggled with unhealthy behavior and managed to change your life for the better.

    Thank you so much, Taralynn!

    Reply to Becky
  • Evi Figgat

    I just wanted to say THANK YOU. I know it is hard. I think it is important to love and take care of yourself. I have followed your blog for over a year now, and you are awesome. Thanks for being an inspiration.

    Reply to Evi Figgat
    • Evey

      I knew you when you were undressed skeleton and you had an amazing pancake recipe. I am so glad to see you’re in recovery.

      Reply to Evey

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