Why are we so hard on ourselves? No matter how hard we work, how much money we spend, or how long we spend getting ready, we still find flaws in the mirror. This Vegas trip has made me realize how hard I am on myself. I’m sure other women can relate. I felt like I needed to write this just in case someone else was going through the same thing. I’m not great at putting my feelings into words, but I’ll give it a shot. I’m about to admit some pretty embarrassing things, but hopefully someone can relate.
Vegas is full of beautiful people. I thought I had pretty good self esteem until this trip. I’ve gone to Vegas a ton of times, but for some reason, this trip was different. Maybe it was because I was with Jeremy and his parents instead of a group of friends. I kept feeling self conscious. I would feel bad about being in jeans while the person next to me was in a skin tight dress. I felt bad because girls would walk around with giant boobs and I’ve been an A cup all my life. I would look at the girls with gorgeous made up faces with their hair done and feel bad because my hair was just wavy from the shower. I kept finding things that I didn’t like about myself.
After feeling like this, I realized it wasn’t healthy. I’m tired of thinking I need to be as pretty as the person next to me, or on tv, or wherever. The media portrays a false picture of what people really look like. I need to be happy in my own skin no matter how I look. I don’t want to strive to be someone else just because they’re classified as beautiful. What could kill you, doesn’t make you perfect because no one is perfect. Perfection would be boring. I should feel the most beautiful when I’m naturally me. In all honesty, I don’t like getting dressed up, putting on loads of make up, or spending hours on my hair. That’s not who I am. I like to take a shower, let my hair get wavy (sometimes frizzy), put on some mascara, lip gloss, jeans, and a T shirt. That is who I am, and I should feel my best at that. If my hair won’t corporate, who cares! I’ll embrace it. If my jeans are feeling snug, I’ll throw on the sweats. If my face is breaking out, I’ll just deal with it. I’m tired of stressing over little things that I can’t fix. Life is so much better when appearance isn’t your number one priority.
So from now on, I am going to STOP comparing myself to other people. I’m going to embrace my flaws and things I can’t fix. I’m going to stop feeling bad when someone has something I don’t. God made me the way I am and I should feel blessed. It shouldn’t make me feel any less beautiful. I will stop calling myself ugly, fat, stupid, or anything else to bring myself down. It won’t make me any prettier or smarter. Bashing yourself around people is an ugly cycle. Remember the movie Mean Girls? The girls are bashing themselves in the mirror together like it’s some kind of trend. There are so many things to worry about in life and my appearance shouldn’t be one of them. People don’t even care how you look. All of these thoughts in our heads are only in our heads.
And it’s not only the way we look that we bash. I bash the way I draw, the way I write, and the way I laugh! It’s embarrassing to admit, but while I’m trying to embrace who I am in every way…I grew up in acheivment classes as a kid because I had a hard time reading and writing. I still don’t know my lefts and rights. I make the “L’s” with my hand. But that is who I am and when I acknowledge it, I can work on improving. Yeah, it hurts when people make fun of my punctuation, spelling and the way I write, but that’s not going to stop me from blogging. It’s who I am. I try hard to do it right, but when I make a mistake from now on, I won’t beat myself up about it.
I’m going to keep being me in every natural way possible. That is what makes me feel good. Beauty truly does come from within. To me, beautiful is when a person smiles, laughs, cries and loves. I don’t need to workout and eat healthy because it’ll make me look like other people. I need to be me and only me. People can say what they want about me, but at the end of the day…it only makes me stronger.
-Taralynn
Anna says
Love this and love YOU! XOXOXOXO
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Anna!! XOXO
Amber says
That was truly touching, and I, as most women, can probably relate. Thank you for that!
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Amber! You’re not alone 😉
Jackie says
I live in Las Vegas. I teacher fitness classes and is even constantly compare myself to others in my classes. I catch myself thinking, ” oh I wish my arms were more toned like that or I wish my build was more like hers.” Thank you for sharing the thoughts out loud that a lot of us have. I am sure many girls can related to this from LA to small town Texas. It’s a great goal so many if is can work on, rather than just having “body” goals!
Meela says
I can totally relate to this. I went to an all girls high school in Greenwich CT where everyone was basically striving to be a supermodel. We have to love and embrace the things that make us unique. Xoxoxo
Laura says
Taralynn thank you for this post! I have been feeling the exact same way lately! Like you said, girls strive way too hard for perfection. I have been bashing myself about various issues as well, like my body, friends, academic skills etc. Why do I do this? It doesn’t make me feel better, only worse! It is so hard to stop negative thoughts from going in my head. Like you said, we have to stop hating ourselves so much! You are a beautiful person inside and out, and deserve happiness. Everyone does! Even though it is REALLY hard, I am going to try and stop hating my insecurities so much, and am glad you gave me this little push. Thanks again Taralynn! You always brighten my mornings!
Sophia says
Wow, I really admire you for your bravery and honesty! I can totally relate to your feelings and just wanted to tell you, I am sure you looked awesome with your wavy hair and pair of jeans!! You are beautiful, on the in-and on the outside!!!
Amie says
This is incredible. Love your blog. Perfect read to start my day 🙂
Jenny says
Thank you for saying this. Made me step back and realize I do the exact same thing!
Lexi says
Thank you THANK you thank YOU so much for this!!!
Amy @ The Little Honey Bee says
Beautiful post. You are helping so many people. Do you mind if I ask if you did your site re-design yourself? It looks great and I am looking for a designer to do mine. Thanks!
Siobhan says
I needed this today. Thank you. You’re an inspiration in so many ways!
Greta says
You are right! I often find myself comparing myself to other girls, but then I start thinking that maybe even if they look better, they have perfect teeth and a gorgeous smile, maybe they don’t have a family as beautiful as mine, maybe they are heartbroken or they are unhappy. And even if they do feel good, I should be happy that I’m alive and me and the people I care about don’t have medical problems. And you should too. Plus, maybe they envy you as well for your body or for the fact that you feel confident wearing jeans when they don’t. Personally, I have been following your blog for some time now and I really appreciate you and what you are doing. You have a lot of reasons to be proud of yourself!
P.S.: I’m romanian, so sorry if my English isn’t very good. 😀
Catherine @ Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth says
I love that you shared this with your readers! No one is perfect but everyone is beautiful and has something incredie to share with the world. You are a brave and strong woman and I respect you and am so proud or you for posting this, you could be helping so many others by sharing yours ups and downs! xoxo
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Catherine! You’re such an inspiration to me and that means a lot!
Leah says
I agree–you’re BOTH an inspiration! It’s a battle for me and many other women and I work daily to keep myself in check by reading blog posts by you and other amazing women, surrounding myself with encouraging friends, and my husband. I make sure to replace every bashing comment to myself with a loving one! I love the direction things seem to be going with social media. It looks like we’re all getting a little over the pressure, criticism, and endless strive for ‘perfection’. We can only be the best version of ourselves and be happy and proud of that. Thanks for making an impact on me and so many others <3. ~Leah "Ask Leah Renee"
Kenz says
You should not feel embarrassed at all for as admitting these things. It shows what a strong person you are. I know I do the same things all the time, constantly comparing myself to other girls…wishing I could look like them, But I am so glad you made this post. We need to embrace who we are and love ourselves and stop comparing. I hope you know what an inspiration you are and how beautiful you are. Thank you!
Kim @ Hungry Healthy Girl says
Love your honesty and this post! No need to compare yourself…. your beauty shines from the inside out. And just so you know, I think you’re a great writer. We all make mistakes and that’s okay. 😉
Carrie says
I feel like you wrote this for me! Obviously not, but you sure picked a great time to write it and I thank you for it! I’m over here trying to figure out how to manage to be comfortable in a bathing suit in 2 weeks at spring break, when in reality I wasn’t even comfortable when I was super skinny and many pounds less than I am now. I wish I had your strength, and your commitment. I love your blog, thanks for being so honest and always inspiring.
Jacklyn says
Thank you Taralynn, this post is something I really needed today! I’ve always been judging of myself growing up. My friends were/are always skinner than me, so I always felt like the invisible friend when we hung/hang out. But even when I was skinny I always rated myself with the girl next to me. Your post makes me feel like I’m not alone with these feelings and I really want to strive to loving myself (and not wait till I get skinnier to start…I want to start right now!). Thank you, for allowing yourself to be open with us! 🙂
Also, don’t worry about being perfect, we all have our flaws….I still have to count on my fingers. 😉
Amanda says
I really needed this. Thank you so much for posting this & everything else you do!
Monika Baker says
Hey Sweet girl!
I have followed your blog and Instagram for awhile! I love your creativity, and love your healthy food and treat recipes as well!… (Yummy!!)
I have been, walking the exact same path you are treading in this area, and I can tell you, you are absolutely right! Nothing will make you feel better about yourself, than the inward realization of beauty and strength! I use to be obsessed with my weight.. I went from 185lbs, to 119lbs at 5’9. I looked ghastly! But I didn’t even realize that my once healthy eating, became so restrictive it was honestly depressing and suppressing me from enjoying life! And then after losing all that weight, I still felt insecure! Like you, I have had A cups my whole life haha! And wish I could take some flab from other places and proportion it properly! But needless to say, I can’t! We have control over our eating, and I think that’s why as women we feel we can dictate the outcome. No one ever talks about once losing all the weight, how hard it is to maintain thereafter! it became an obsession for me because, I didn’t want to get large! Well I had a wake up call, and decided I wanted to be happy! I wanted to be healthy and vibrant and I wanted to be me! I became too obsessed with image. Regardless of the pressure to be someone I’m not, I took the plunge to be me! So I gained some wait, and I’m now at a healthy 140-145lbs which I have maintained for 2yrs, with simply eating proper portions, and eating clean! I feel amazing, eat amazing, and people have told me I look better than I ever have! And because of my build, people still tease me that I’m skinny! But I’m happy! And I just want to encourage you, with the platform you’re on and the pressure you feel, to simply step out! To step out from that ugly comparison shadow for good! You are absolutely gorgeous, smart, creative, you have so much to offer the world! God has an amazing destiny for you! God has an amazing story hand written for your life! Trust that He makes all things good, and that includes you! Can’t wait to see what He has planned for you! Reach for the stars! Prayers and hugs your way! You are truly gorgeous beyond compare
XOXO
Monika <3
Mandi says
Thank you for this! First of all, you are perfect the way you are and, to be honest, I’ve seen many posts from your fans and YOU are the pretty girl they are comparing themselves to! Lol We are our own worst enemies most of the time and I cannot thank you enough for stepping into the public eye with such honesty! Best wishes to you 🙂
Katie says
I still don’t know my lefts from rights either!
I literally had the same feelings a sorority party last night (lol I wan’t in the sorority) but I reminded myself to just be myself in my jeans and kmart tee shirt as they were in their skin tight dresses. I said to myself as long as I am true to myself, God still loves me it doesn’t matter what these people think. And I swear I had more fun then anyone there who was always checking their makeup, hair, etc. and everyone came back to my place for a post-game!
Keep being you girl! You’re an inspiration, and don’t forget we’re all going through the same stuff! <3 <3
kelsey says
Taralynn, it’s especially hard since you have a microscope over you im sure with so many people trying to show your flaws bc of their jealousy and insecurity. Just keep being true to yourself and you can never lose. You’re a strong person, keep it up! For every person who downs you there are many more who, like me adore and support you!
xo
Katie says
This is perfection- it totally gave me goosebumps! I definitely struggle with this, as I’m sure most girls do. I’m going to be in Vegas with my boyfriend in a couple weeks too (we go there often like you) and I can totally relate how you feel. This post couldn’t have come at a better time! You are such an inspiration!!
Julia Y says
Thank you so much for posting this. I feel the same way when I’m walking through campus and all of the girls are dressed up with a face full of makeup. Meanwhile, I’m in jeans and a sweatshirt without a splash of makeup. It’s so hard to feel confident in your own skin in a world of masks. However, this post has really helped my self esteem. You are such an inspiration and you change peoples lives for the better.
Taralynn McNitt says
So glad this helped. That’s why I had to get it out! We don’t need masks to be beautiful. Mask only hide beauty!
Zainab says
I really love this! Keep on writing cause you are such an inspiration to me and you really are true to yourself! Great work :’)
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Zainab!xoxo
Sheena says
Absolutely love love love this, never say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to someone you love xo
Taralynn McNitt says
Love that and i’ll remember that! Thanks, Sheena!!
Monika says
Hey Sweet girl!
I have followed your blog and Instagram for awhile! I love your creativity, and love your healthy food and treat recipes as well!… (Yummy!!)
I have been, walking the exact same path you are treading in this area, and I can tell you, you are absolutely right! Nothing will make you feel better about yourself, than the inward realization of beauty and strength! I use to be obsessed with my weight.. I went from 185lbs, to 119lbs at 5’9. I looked ghastly! But I didn’t even realize that my once healthy eating, became so restrictive it was honestly depressing and suppressing me from enjoying life! And then after losing all that weight, I still felt insecure! Like you, I have had A cups my whole life haha! And wish I could take some flab from other places and proportion it properly! But needless to say, I can’t! We have control over our eating, and I think that’s why as women we feel we can dictate the outcome. No one ever talks about once losing all the weight, how hard it is to maintain thereafter! it became an obsession for me because, I didn’t want to get large! Well I had a wake up call, and decided I wanted to be happy! I wanted to be healthy and vibrant and I wanted to be me! I became too obsessed with image. Regardless of the pressure to be someone I’m not, I took the plunge to be me! So I gained some wait, and I’m now at a healthy 140-145lbs which I have maintained for 2yrs, with simply eating proper portions, and eating clean! I feel amazing, eat amazing, and people have told me I look better than I ever have! And because of my build, people still tease me that I’m skinny! But I’m happy! And I just want to encourage you, with the platform you’re on and the pressure you feel, to simply step out! To step out from that ugly comparison shadow for good! You are absolutely gorgeous, smart, creative, you have so much to offer the world! God has an amazing destiny for you! God has an amazing story hand written for your life! Trust that He makes all things good, and that includes you! Can’t wait to see what He has planned for you! Reach for the stars! Prayers and hugs your way! You are truly gorgeous beyond compare
XOXO
Monika <3
Brittnee says
You are GORGEOUS and just so so inspirational! I love looking at your blogs and seeing your stuff on instagram and facebook. That might seem odd but seeing the things you post is a constant reminder of how i should be living life. Eating healthy, being positive and always loving yourself. You help me stay motivated to become the person I want to be. I loved this! Thanks for being just so awesome and inspiring. xo
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Brittnee! Be the person you want to be if that’s who you are!
xo
Getter says
Wow, I really can relate to that. Thank you for sharing. You’re wonderful, hope you won’t beat yourself anymore. Stay just the way you are, because I like you that way 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
I’ll try everyday not to! Thanks, Getter (amazing name) xo
AnnaCanDoIt says
Taralynn, I started to read your blog last week and I found you as my best motivation to lose weight, be healthier, to start my own blog and the most important thing is you showed me, I can be myself and I am beautiful this way too, so thank you and I’m really happy to find you!
PS.: You are beautiful and you will always be beautiful, no matter what!
-Love Anna
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Anna! 🙂
I’m glad you’ve found me too and i hope you do start a blog! i’d love to read it!:) xo
Kate says
Great message! We put a lot of undue and unnecessary pressures on ourselves when we should focus more on accepting who we are now 🙂 ps I love your blog and always look forward to reading your outlook on life 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
Thank you so much, Kate! And youre absolutely right!
Sarah Swain says
Amazing!! I hope you truly believe these things, and aren’t just trying to convince yourself. I’ve been reading your blog for a couple years now (I believe), and find you to be a fantastic role model in every way. Keep it up beautiful girl!
Taralynn McNitt says
Thank you, Sarah!
cait says
I am in the same boat myself. My boyfriend asked if I wanted to go to Vegas this year and I really do but I told him I’m not emotionally stable yet to go with him because I beat myself up about how I look compared to others. Congrats to you for realizing the unhealthy behavior and trying to fix it. You’re beautiful, girl, and a true inspiration!
Taralynn McNitt says
That’s crazy! But I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t feel the same. You’re so right that it’s not healthy. Exercising and eating right is only half of what healthy truly is.
Ariel says
Your post today was so encouraging. In the 8 years I’ve been struggling with anorexia, this post truly hit home. thank you. 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
Sorry you are going through that! I really hope everything is alright.xo xo stay strong!
Ariel says
Thank you! I love your blog! It is the highlight of my nights when I get home! 🙂 Stay strong, you are an inspiration!
Kim says
First of all, you are a beautiful girl and I mean naturally beautiful. You don’t need all the makeup & extra stuff. You are also beautiful because,you put yourself out there with and without flaws. Vegas is all smoke & mirrors anyway. You go girl!!
Taralynn McNitt says
We are all naturally beautiful and no one needs the extra stuff. It doesn’t define us! It’s fun every now and then, but we should feel great without it too. Thanks for the words, Kim! xo
Dani says
I mix up my left and right too!! I’m college educated and a perfectly capable human being,but for some reason left and right do not come naturally to me. I’ve read that could be a symptom of mild dyslexia, but who knows.
Taralynn McNitt says
Yeah, it’s definitely a sign of dyslexia, but it won’t make me any less proud of myself! I love my making “Ls”! I usually turn right when people tell me to turn left…both hands on the wheel 😉 xo
Jess says
I’m a proud dyslexic too! It took me a while as I was in a very academic school but I now realise that my dyslexia is what makes me the creative person I am today. My father also has it and he has written 3 books and has a blog! I love your blog by the way, you are really inspiring 🙂
Lauren @ Jesus and a Side of Peanut Butter says
Yes! I love this. It’s so wonderful to know that you realize what is making you unhappy, and you’re making an effort to change it for the better. Keep it up, woman! xoxo
Sharon says
It’s only human to want what we don’t have! I’m also an A cup and can appreciate the fact that I can 1) find clothes that fit easier 2) can run without feeling pain from extra chest weight 3) can sleep on my stomach or any other position comfortably. I would rather be comfortable any day, especially in Vegas where you walk everywhere. You can wear sweats and look like a million bucks, not many people can pull that off.
Taralynn McNitt says
Yup there are pros and cons of the A team 😉
And you are super sweet! Thank you for that! xo
Jessie says
Do not be embarrassed, I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I’ve recently tried to focus on loving myself and not caring what ANYONE else thinks, but it is hard. I’m fairly certain that every single woman struggles with this daily. And truthfully, those who dress themselves up and hide behind loads of makeup are actually the most insecure. They go to great lengths just in order to feel ok. All women are on the same team, we shouldn’t feel like we have to be so competitive.
Taralynn McNitt says
That’s the best way to be! And I’ve never thought of it like that!
Tiffany says
Thank you for this post Taralynn. I have been on my weight loss journey a little over a year now and I am the worlds worst to do things like that to myself. Just the earlier today my fiancé and I were grocery shopping and I kept seeing these girls all dressed up and I was just in my at shirt and jeans. I have also been and A cup my entire life to so I can totally relate to that. I kept comparing myslelf and worrying what people were thinking and I’ve been down since. But this post has just made my day. You say we support you, but I think you support us just as much!
Taralynn McNitt says
Crazy how we are our worst critics…when in reality…people don’t care as much as we think they do! Or if at all!
I’m glad this post helped you! Thanks so much for the support! I am way too lucky!
xo xo
Leighann says
Thank you for writing this! You couldn’t have said it better and I’m sure this post will help many girls understand body image issues and how they feel about themselves. It’s something I really needed to read today so thank you. And you’re definitely right-even if everyone tells you that you’re pretty and beautiful, if you, yourself doesn’t feel it, it’ll never be true. We have to truly love ourselves and know that we’re each beautiful in our own way, and you explained this perfectly. I can’t say thank you enough and just wanted to say that you’re a beautiful person in every way!!
Taralynn McNitt says
You’re welcome, Leighann!
Our opinions are the only ones that matter when it comes to self beauty! We should never let anything else reflect it.
xo xo
Elena says
I recognize me in your writing, because I often feel the same way. Mostly, I feel good in my body and I feel beautiful! And another days, I don’t know why, I compare me with the others girls (in the magazines or at school) and I ask me why I don’t have the same things they have. And it annoys me because I know I did not complain about my body and I have nothing to envy to others girls. So you’re totally right! Be natural is the best, I agree 🙂
(Sorry if my english isn’t very good.. This is not my mother tongue.)
Kristin says
Taralynn,
It’s interesting that you chose to post this now, because I have been thinking similarly about myself, but in comparison to you. I started following your blog almost a year ago, and during the time since I have been striving to make myself into the image of health, happiness, and positivity that I see in you. I made changes in my life to achieve this: I started eating like you do, exercising like you do, and radiating positivity like you do–but I still didn’t look like you, and I honestly began to resent you for it. I didn’t understand how I could be fulfilling every goal I set for myself based on YOUR life, and not see YOU as my reflection in the mirror. But I understand now that the changes I made in my life DO reflect the things I love most about you– health, happiness, and positivity. I understand now that the reason I don’t look like you is because I AM NOT YOU. But I am better because I was inspired you, and I am becoming the best me, which is better than trying to become you, because that goal can only create perpetual disappointment. So thank you for your post, which reemphasized the reasons I love you so much.
Taralynn McNitt says
It saddens me when I hear people say “I strive to be like Taralynn” because I want people to strive to be a better “them”. I’m guilty of wanting to be like other people too. I think my celebrity idol changes every week which is RIDICULOUS. Everyone is different (which i say a lot) What I do to lose weight or gain muscle might not work for the next person. It took me years to find the right balance. I was too skinny, too big, too this and too that. But also when people say “omg tara you are so pretty or skinny”…that is a pressure I feel I have to live by. What if I run into someone who reads my blog and they see me without my hair done or me in old jeans? Like why should I care!? That’s who I AM. I’m going to embrace it more. I am sorry if anything I’ve ever posted has been the same as other media “perfections”…it’s the pressure we all have to be perfect…
Leah says
This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you!
Taralynn McNitt says
No problem, Leah! 🙂 xo
Sara says
I had no idea you had problems with writing because your blog is brilliant! I’ve never noticed a single mistake, ever!
Its funny though, the other day when you said you were going to Vegas again, I was thinking to myself, how the hell does she keep going to Vegas and not feel like utter rubbish every time. Vegas isn’t real, the people there aren’t real. An environment like that is so dangerous! I’m almost glad to see that it got you down because it reminds me that even you, in all your beauty, are still human. I think your flaws are lovely!
I’m beginning to think my flaws are lovely too but it can be a bit hard. I don’t watch TV or read magazines, I’m really careful about what I let myself view online. I only have a few sites that I go to, and a few blogs that make me feel better rather than worse. (Yours is one of them.)
Sometimes viewing something in a shop window is enough to make me feel like filth for the entire day. Its a frigging hard world for a woman! Men are taught they are entitled to look at anyone and everything, and its there for their benefit. Men’s advertising is like “BE LIKE THIS, AND THIS WOMAN WILL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!” Women’s advertising is like, “WHY AREN’T YOU AS GOOD AS THIS WOMAN? YOUR BOYFRIEND WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER!”
My husband used to feel entitled, like he earned the right to admire other girls simply because they were there and he was male. He knows better now, he doesn’t raise an eye to any other girl. I wouldn’t hang around for him if he started to, I’d be long gone. I hope Jeremy was behaving himself in Vegas! I hope I’m wrong when I get the feeling like he might not have helped your insecurities 🙁
Love you, don’t worry. Take control of your thoughts, don’t let them turn sour. If they tell you you’re not good enough you can tell them to F off. Evil will lie!
xxx
Taralynn McNitt says
You’ve never noticed a mistake? Someone could probably name over 100 in this post! ha But, thank you!
The thing is that the people in Vegas ARE REAL, but like someone said in an another comment…that made up character is from insecurity. I mean…some clubs won’t even let you in if youre not a bombshell (seriously what kind of world is this)
Flaws are beautiful and it’s sad that we think we need to hide them because someone else thinks they’re “unacceptable”. Advertising is pretty powerful too. I was walking through the mall this morning and after writing the post, the models on the wall REALLY stood out to me. It’s exactly what I described as a “false picture”.
Jeremy is one of the most respectful guys I’ve ever met. The hottest girl in the room could walk by and he wouldn’t flash a glance (and to be honest, I’m not the jealous type that would care) I look at other good looking men all the time, but at the end of the day…I still think Jeremy is the sexiest. Jeremy makes me feel good about myself and beautiful, better than I make myself feel. When we first started dating, I was going through the whole “I can’t eat that, or that has too many calories” and he saved me from going into a huge life of disorder. I couldn’t ask for anyone else.
Thank you for writing me and being so honest! I’m so lucky to have followers that truly care about me. I hope you know I care about you!
Thanks for making my day, Sara
xo
Danelle says
I love this Taralynn! So proud of you and encouraged. I speak in high school assemblies around the world about self image and confidence and i hate to admit that I still struggle with comparison at times! But I’ve found the best thing to do is be real with yourself and other people. They need to hear this! And I’m going to start recommending your blog to the girls I speak to in schools. Love it! Xx
Taralynn McNitt says
Thank you, Danelle! Sometimes practicing what you preach is the hardest task. I do it all the time. When someone calls themselves “fat”…I tell them not to, but then turn around and call myself “fat” and I KNOW I’M NOT FAT! I just have a bad habit of brining myself down! It’s awful and I won’t do it anymore. So glad youre talking to girls about this kind of behavior and I bet you are changing lives!
Emily says
I think a lot of women will feel like they could have written this themselves, Tara. I know I sure do. It’s so relateable! Unfortunately, society has made it harder for us women to love ourselves and much easier to be hyper critical of our every flaw. But I think the upside to this is a feeling of unity among women that we can share our flaws and insecurities and receive strength from one another. Your writing is amazing and you definitely earned my respect with this post! 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Emily. Women should stick together and stop pointing out each others flaws. It’s an ugly cycle.
Your comment has really made my day! The fact that I was embarrassed to post something like this just goes to show that I need to improve my thoughts and build my esteem back up.
Thanks for making me realize that!
xo xo xo!
Taralynn
Jessica says
Taralynn, I love the vulnerability of this post! Women are truly held to such high and unachievable standards; it truly is easy to buy into the comparison game. I loved reading your inspirational words. One message that always stuck with me is thinking of ourselves as God’s masterpieces. We don’t look at a beautiful sunset and go “Man, why is there so much blue in this sunset? I wish there was more pink!” We are simply breath taken at how wondrous the sunset looks. Or when we go to the Grand Canyon we don’t think, “what a bummer there is that crevice there, it should be over in that direction,” we are simply in awe of the majesty of it all. Why don’t we pick apart other aspects of God’s creation? Because we realize how wonderfully everything is made, yet when we look at His ultimate creation, ourselves, we say,”I wish my hair was lighter. I wish my skin had smaller pores. I wish my thighs didn’t touch.” This mindset has really helped me to stop being so hard on myself and others. We are all beautiful sunsets and canyons in God’s eyes. Thanks for always being such an inspiration!
Shannon says
This is really funny because I was looking at Taralynn the other day wishing that I was as pretty as she is in all her photos.
Taralynn McNitt says
And no one should ever do that. We should look at ourselves and LOVE the way we look. I take photos to the salon and go…”make me look like Megan Fox”…but why? I shouldn’t do that!
Shannon says
I wouldn’t feel bad about the salon thing. I mean, we all want celebrity hair..plus it prevents us from getting a GOD AWFUL cut..been there!
I’d love to be perfectly happy with how I looked…EVER! I’m sadly, a self basher/hater most of the time but I’ve got to work on it. It’s no way to live your life.
This is a very good post. Good for you! 🙂
Schulamith says
Thank you so much. you said you also wrote this for people to relate: well my mind is totally occupied by exactly the same, bad comparing thoughts.
This helped me focusing on my health and happiness. you are truly beautiful and achieved so much! I will also try to stop comparing myself to others.
Taralynn McNitt says
It’s sad that it’s one of the most comment struggles woman face. (some men)
Glad this post helped you!
xo
Amanda says
Hi Taralynn,
This post perfectly describes what we think and how we feel sometimes. I firmly believe that girls should be confident and happy with who they are and what they have. Appreciating the good things about yourself will definitely make you happier! I have been there and currently battle image issues, but I know in my heart that the only person who can make me happy is me! Stay beautiful! 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
And I’m working towards becoming that confident person! Make up, clothes, a perfect body won’t make you confident or happy!
Amanda says
I’m really glad to hear that! It makes me upset that so many people are obsessed with the idea that we have to wear certain clothes, do our hair and makeup a certain way to be beautiful. To be honest, I feel better about myself when I am wearing sweatpants and no makeup! 🙂 and everyone should feel beautiful and confident no matter what! Girls gotta stick together!
Taralynn McNitt says
Girl, preach!
Tracey says
Girl, you are not alone. Reading about your insecurities I thought I was reading a blog about myself. Since your honest I’ll be honest. Sometimes I get jealous cause you are so darn tiny, and I start comparing myself to you. I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin and I wake up and go to sleep beating myself up for everything, it’s sad but it’s something that’s really hard to undo. But thank you for just being you and sharing your personal battles with us. It gives me a boost sometimes.
Taralynn McNitt says
Almost every comment has been about someone relating! I guess all of us woman are the same and it just goes to show that we should be working hard to build each other up and not down!
Di Adra says
I would not want to diminish your feelings in any way because I know you feel how you feel, but you are one of the most beautiful people ever! Inside and out! I really hope you know that. I’ve followed your progress for a few years and you’ve been such an inspiration to so many. 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. xo
Julie says
You are a lovely writer. Dont let anyone convince you otherwise. 🙂
Taralynn McNitt says
Thanks, Julie! XO
Rebecca says
Thank you for sharing this with us! I have always struggled with my self image, and have found myself comparing my legs, my hair, my stomach (the list goes on) to the girls I see at the gym, on campus and even on Pinterest. I have had to come to terms that my thighs will always touch, I will always have a high forehead and that bump on my nose I hated in middle school won’t go away. But God made me the way I am, and if those things about me were different, then I wouldn’t be who I really am. Thank you for reminding me of that today!
On a side note, I am notorious for not remembering my right/left (even my east/west at times!!). When I am driving somewhere, people usually have to tap me on the shoulder so I know which way to turn, because 90% of the time I’ll go the opposite way on accident… Thinking I was really going the correct way. I’m glad someone else understands my struggle 😉
Becca
Rose says
Thanks, Taralynn! You are awesome and I am so thankful for your blog. It is a relief to now that at least one other person out there struggles with all the same stuff as me.
Love!
Taralynn McNitt says
You’re not alone! xo
Alexa says
Thank you. Thank you is all I can really say right now <3
Taralynn McNitt says
You’re welcome 🙂
Amy says
Truly inspirational
Taralynn McNitt says
Thank you so much!
Cassie says
I’m so glad you posted this. I had a similar experience the last time I was in Vegas. We were there for a family event so my husband and I only spent a couple hrs on the strip before everyone else got into town. I was simply dressed in some boyfriend jeans and a tee (after being on a road trip for 6 hours, I wasn’t looking my best) and I found myself so self conscious and uncomfortable! I have my self-doubts from time to time, but I’m usually not that self-conscious at all. I think the vegas environment full of sexy “beautiful” women was to blame. It’s so unfortunate that in a world of unique women, we sometimes seek to look just like so-and-so because a magazine or TV show told us the’s pretty. Thank you for your honesty. You are beautiful inside and out.
Taralynn McNitt says
Yeah, it happens almost anywhere you go and that is why it’s important to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. And you are so right about seeking for our beauty through the media! It’s just not who we are!
Brandy says
Amazing post! You are so beautiful inside and out!
Caitlin says
Thank you for writing this. I know as a former fat girl, that I consistently still see myself as heavy and imperfect. The image just doesn’t go away. But I have come to realize on good days, that I am the best me I can be. I also find that because on t.v. it is funny to nit pick others and make fun of others, our society does the same. Thank you for being a positive role model. I enjoy following your blog and recipes.
Taralynn McNitt says
As long as you strive to be the BEST YOU! I agree, it’s easy to nit pick people and it’s wrong!
Dayna watkins says
I’m 42 years old and have struggled with this concept since I was 15. I have starved, purged, exercised, binged, drank, worked hard, hardly worked at all, etc. I earned a degree in nutritional science and worked as peer health counselor while in college. Now, I’m a divorced mom and school teacher. There is not a day that goes by that all the negative thoughts and talk doesn’t flow through my head. If this is a lesson you can learn now…. Take it and run with it. Your message is a good one. Scream it from the top of your lungs! By the way, from what I see, you are pretty darn close to perfect!!!!
Taralynn McNitt says
My mom is 50 and still says horrible things about her body. It’s an ugly cycle. I’ve had horrible self esteem since I was a kid. Even thought you have gone through so much, it makes you beautiful! You just made my day and I’m sure help others in your life! You’re a great person and I hope you find the peace that you deserve! Thanks so much for that ass kicking comment, Dayna! xo
lydia says
Tara this was just what i have bean working through in the last few months, i have bean comparing myself to others for a very long time and it does nothing for us because we always find someone prettier more talented, smarter and as we look around at other peoples gifts and talents we forget to embrace our own and everyone else wants something we have as well, this is a great post keep up the good work. I love when you are so honest and aren’t putting on a face all the time acting like life’s perfect and you don’t have any problems, because everyone struggles with something and you really show people the real you!! YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TARALYNN!!! don’t ever forget God loves you and you are helping so many young woman and girls you are truly a blessing 🙂
Katherine James says
Thank you for being open and honest! You don’t know me but I’m proud of you! It’s so hard to do and so refreshing to see people do. You are beautiful! Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. It’s a great reminder we aren’t alone 🙂 Keep being you!!
Mariah says
OMG! This is the best thing I have ever read, so inspirational. I’m so glad I read this because lately I have been in a rut from just comparing myself to other people and trashing myself every time I looked in the mirror. People compliment me all the time and I still always think so low of myself so THANK YOU for this post. It helped change my perspective a lot <3
Taylor Wall says
This really hit home for me. Most of the days that I actually do look in the mirror, I think about how I would want to be as beautiful as someone like you. But I guess we all have our imperfections.
I have to say, I really enjoy the heartfelt message from you now and again.
<3
Megan says
Thank you so much for posting this. This was exactly what I needed to read. I woke up this morning hating myself because of a number I saw on the scale after months of eating well and working out hard, and still having jeans that were too tight. I follow your blog everyday, and I realized I need to love myself for who I am, not what everyone else thinks. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being such an inspiration and changing my life. I almost cried when I read “instead of being upset about my jeans being too tight I will throw on some sweats,” because thats exactly what I need to do. Thank you Taralynn.
Chloe says
Taralynn, this was wonderful to read. I have personally had this realization myself, and it always brightens my day when someone else goes through it. Everyone’s natural self is their most beautiful self! Keep it up 🙂
Taylar says
You’re such an inspiration!!
Michela Bosio says
Love this! I was feeling the exact way you were feeling this week. It’s great to know that we all are not alone in our journey in life. There are always people struggling just like you. We all need to just be there to help each other when there is a bump in the road. So, thank you for posting this. I really needed to hear this :). Wish you all the best!
Zenna says
This is beautiful, Taralynn!! Every time I read one of your posts I walk away feeling inspired, refreshed, and empowered, and that is because of YOU. Self bashing, criticizing, and loathing is something us women deal with on a daily basis. It can be very difficult to practice self love when everything around you is aimed to make you feel less than. Thank you for this post, I especially needed it today. Now we can all start our week feeling a little more empowered to embrace, love, and support who we are as people and as beautiful women. You GO girl<3
Rose says
Hey Taralynn, I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but never felt like writing a comment until now. This post you just wrote is absolutely beautiful and I just wanted you to know.
You say you’re not great at writting your feelings down, well, just read what you just created because it seems truly sincere to me!
Oscar Wilde once said “be yourself, everyone else is already taken”, and this post remind me of this quote.
And don’t forget, if you want to learn how to write you just have to start doing it.
xo
R
Celeste says
This is the most inspirational thing I have read in a long time. I’m going through a really hard time right now struggling with eating problems and a lot of the things you mentioned (comparing myself to others, calling myself fat, not feeling good enough).
I look up to you so much Taralynn, and hearing you go through this too makes me feel better. It gives me hope. I want to work on thinking better thoughts about myself as well, and I feel I can do it if I try hard enough.
I’ve never met you and I only know you through your blog, but you really are my hero.
Holly says
Tara,
Thanks for sharing your personal feelings on this! I struggle with this all the time, and I am scared that my healthy eating, has tilted to making me LOOK amazing more than FEEL amazing. I am spoiled by my fiancé with his adoration of me, so why am I craving more? And flinching at all the attractive woman that pass my way! And only to find out that those “HOT” women are jealous of ME? And I realized its because there is a reason those ladies need tight dresses, pumps and designer make up. They might be more insecure than me or you! It’s very sad actually. Thank you for bringing this up, I think its a struggle that most woman struggle with behind closed doors. Thank you! <3 🙂
Q! says
I think this is true of every woman/girl and we all do it. It’s an easier affirmation if you’ve accomplished something which, at 40, I have not. I do my best to be optimistic daily. I follow your blog every day and love it. I don’t think about your punctuation and I hated reading the post where people are bashing you for what you eat when it’s not the healthiest meal. You are beautiful, you work hard and you keep it real every day. You try new things, you do what’s right and you post even when it’s not perfect. I love it!
Jacy says
I still make the “L”s with my hand too =) I am 28 LOL!
Jill says
Thank you for posting this, I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately.
Habiba Abudu says
i wrote this, it’s nice to know we all struggle…it’s a beautiful struggle. but i make progress. Here’s a segment of what I feel sometimes :
I’m concerned that my innermost thoughts are too cryptic
Ye, I don’t even know myself sometimes
I don’t want to come off as a pretentious bitch
Or someone constantly striving to prove myself
I just want to be me – whoever the hell that is
And do it well
Not this constant questioning and anger
But, will you love me the same ?
Lindsey T says
Amazing post and perfect timing, Taralynn. As always, you are so inspirational. I spent 8 days in Mexico with my husband celebrating 5 years of marriage and the only thing I could do everyday was compare myself to every single person on that beach. Despite being active, in shape, fit, strong and healthy. It got to the point where I questioned why my husband chose ME when he could have had anyone, even after 5 amazing years of marriage, I still wonder why he wanted me. It’s so unhealthy and my husband finally had to look me straight in the eye and tell me to knock it off. He tells me I’m beautiful multiple times a day and always has, and finally at the end of the week he expressed concern over why I think so terribly of myself and why I can’t see the beauty. That changed my outlook on everything. That my self-image issues were now affecting and concerning him. I’m making it a priority to not compare myself. To love who I am, the way he does. To not care if I didn’t put makeup on or wear my hear down. I’m making it a priority to recognize that I’m blessed to have my health and my strength. I salute you for writing this post. For sharing your feelings with so many people. For helping us all change the way we think. Keep inspiring girl 🙂
Cheri @ Overactive Blogger says
It’s crazy that a beautiful girl like you with so much obvious talent would ever feel insecure, but I totally get it! On a good day, I recognize all the awesome stuff about myself, but sometime, I can let that comparison get to me as well! Loved this post!
Emily says
Tara, your post so was so inspirational and touching and significant to lives of others as well as yourself. Not only is your post absolutely true, but the comments prove your encouragement brought so many people together. As someone who has struggled with body image for years, this is truly one of the most important pieces of advice to remaining healthy inside and out. We all have flaws, and we are all beautiful.
Jaime says
So glad you wrote this. Everyone needs to read this! Love love love
Jaime
Jen says
So much inspiration and motivation packed into one little post. Amazing!
Han says
🙂 Tara, you just keep getting better. Keep being real with us. It’s so refreshing.
nancy says
You’re an inspiration Taralynn! Love your blogs! You seem like a beautiful person inside and out! xo
Han says
🙂 Tara, you just keep getting better. Keep being real with us. It’s so refreshing.
Nicole says
I am so happy that you wrote this. This, and everything else you post, is why you are one of my biggest inspirations! Thank you for everything that you do! 🙂
Hessa says
Hello , I am from Dubai and its 9:26 am right you , I am at work now and you just gave me enough positive energy to start my day <3
I love you Tara , keep up the good job <3 <3 <3
Myriam says
Taralynn, I’m sure every single woman in this planet can realte to what you wrote, we all know how feeling ugly, fat, imperfect feels. We all deal with it. Thank you very much for sharing this with us, you are helping people more than you think, you are an inspiration and a role model for a whole more people than you think. You’re not just a blogger. You’re a person, just like us, and we can relate to you, because you are real. I’m so sharing this by the way, I absolutely loved it.
Ps. you are beautiful 🙂
Paige says
Comparison is the thief of joy!
Thanks for putting yourself out there. I think a lot of us resonate with you.
Katie says
wow… thank you for your honest, inspiring words. I just found myself in your text – I use to bash myself too from time to time and I also found out often that it’s mostly me who is “hypercritically” – most other people didn’t even realize the point I’m brooding over so hard. Well but it’s a slow process – I think we all need to grow into this and be kind and “generous” to ourselves every single day.
Thanks for sharing your inner thoughts – and have a great week.
Love,
Katie xxx
Margaret says
Taralynn,
I’m so uplifted by this post, and it really hits home for me this week. Just wanted to say that I’ve been following your blog for a while, and I really like the direction you’ve been going lately with your recipes and your posts that are very unapologetically YOU (hope that doesn’t sound weird). It just sounds like you’re very happy with your life, and striving for constant self-improvement in a positive way, and I love reading about it. I’m working on getting a blog off the ground with recipes, life happenings, and slow and steady healthy living progress. I would love if you checked it out sometime!
You’ve definitely turned me into a regular reader. Keep up the great posts!
Margaret
http://happyhealthypdx.wordpress.com
Katelyn says
I will tell you I think 90% have the same feelings asyou the other 10 % are lucky. I comend you for telling your truth you inspire so many!!I would love to talk to you and tell you my story of such torment but im so glad your here and sharing positive aspects !!!
Brittni says
This has made me remember the way i used to live. I have forgotten this message lately and have been beating myself down. Thank you solo much for writing this and reminding me and every other girl how beautiful we naturally are! I love your blog post they are so great and inspirational 🙂
Savannah says
This was an awesome read! It’s funny how suddenly you realize life isn’t about being a number on a scale, a picture in a magazine or even dress size. It’s about accepting who you are and working on being the best you can be- not for your parents, your followers, or anyone else. It’s about being your best for YOU! Way to go gal- you nailed it! 🙂
Sarah says
I can definitely relate. Thank you so much for this!
Tierney says
Firstly, writing this blog post was such an inspiration and I’m glad you did it. In fact I’m glad you started the blog as a whole. It is a REAL blog written by a REAL woman and I think that’s what draws so many of us to reading it.
It truly saddens me sometimes when I think about the messages out there that we as women endure on a daily basis. It can turn even the most poised woman into jello with anxiety over ‘perceived flaws’. I’ve spent almost my entire life in shame because I didn’t feel as pretty, smart, thin, talented… (really it’s a fill in the blank game) as the next person. Because of it I’ve done countless horrible things to my body and polluted my mind negative thoughts.
Until a year ago when my Mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
A year ago I decided to live and not just be alive. I threw diets out the window, decided to be physically active in some way 7 days a week (be that going to the gym or lately shoveling snow for all the neighbors. I’m in MI as well), and to seek out positive real women who are worth looking up to. I live because there are days that my once healthy, vibrant, beautiful mother cannot bear to get off the couch. I tell myself I am beautiful not because I had a good hair day or because I feel like I should, but because I look just like my Mother who is now has bags under her eyes and is having her hair fall out in clumps. I am alive because life is beautiful and worth being healthy (emotionally and physically) for.
Your blog is something I look forward to reading because it’s an honest look into someone who lives a healthy and productive life. No one can relate to anyone who puts up a “perfect” facade. I read your blog because you are not perfect and that’s what makes you perfectly wonderful.
Michaela says
This is so true! Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. You’re wonderful 🙂 Love from Germany!
Arisa says
Thank you Taralynn for your motivational post! Love it! 🙂
Megan says
I have been reading for years but have never posted a comment. I am SO GLAD you addressed this topic. This is my number one struggle. I never feel pretty enough. My hair and clothes are never good enough. Women are very hard on themselves and each other. We should all strive to be happy and healthy. You are gorgeous, smart and sweet and I love that you put your positive e edgy out into the world! Thank you for that. God Bless.
Jen says
Beautiful! You are an inspiration and I thank you for sharing your thoughts and ideas with us. Much love from Canada
Meaghan says
Wow! This is so right on. Thank you Taralynn. I have often fallen prey to comparing myself. I struggle with thoughts of not being good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, or even smart enough. Thank you for addressing an issue that a lot of women are afraid to talk about. I am getting so tired of society telling girls and women how they should act, look, dress, and be. I believe that God has called each person on earth with a specific purpose. I know God does not make junk and I have to remind myself of that on a constant basis. I am so thankful that I am not alone. Thank you for your honesty and your openness. That is something that isn’t seen to much in today’s society. You got this! 😀
Ashlee says
I had the same exact thing happen to me when I went to Vegas. I felt like everyone around me was beautiful and that everyone was looking at me like I was disgusting because I was in jeans and a t-shirt. I tried to not let it bother me too much, but it does weigh on you after awhile. <3
Frankie says
You’re a beautiful person! It always makes me happy to see people preaching love over all else, keep up the positivity and inspiring others to do the same! xo
Carly says
Wow! Thank you Taralynn for being so brave and fearless. You’re such an inspiration to myself & many other people.
Never stop being you ! 🙂
Meaghan says
I also wanted to say that this was a huge blessing for my mom and I. My mom read it and wanted to say thank you. This post meant a lot to both of us.
Casey Hickman says
This is beautiful!
The Mommy says
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Keep writing – no one is perfect.
Madelyn says
I wrote a post extremely similar to this today.
You may enjoy it, as I know I sure did enjoy your thoughts!
Here’s the link if you do: http://moonfitness.net/2014/03/03/what-you-dont-know-about-fitness-professionals/
Thanks and keep up the great posts!
Rachel says
I can relate to this post, but that’s not why I’m commenting. I’m commenting to let you know that you are GORGEOUS. You are seriously one of the most beautiful people I have ever laid my eyes on. Also, you are my inspiration! Whenever I get discouraged about my weight loss journey, I look at your blog or your instagram or simplytaralynn.com and I tell myself, “If Taralynn can do it, I can do!” So thank you for that. 🙂
Dana says
Thank you for this post! I really needed this. I was doing so well feeling good about myself at my current weight because, even though I am 170lbs, I know a lot of that is from the muscle I have gained doing a unique fitness class that I love. However, recently I started to judge myself again and once you start, you get into the habit of it continually. I really needed to see this post 🙂 Thank you, Taralynn!
Julianna says
Taralynn,
When I found your blog, it was a picture of you on Pinterest from when you were in Georgia and you were standing in a fruit stand smiling. I remember thinking, “Holy wow! This girl is beautiful!” That was the moment, last April, that you inspired to change my pace and to change my mindset. I also remember at first, I was jealous of your beauty. You have the prettiest eyes and the happiest smile! I wanted that! I wanted to be you. Eventually, with your help though, I’ve changed my mind set, even before this post. I’ve been thinking more along the lines of, “I want to be me, not her, because if I was her, I wouldn’t be me.” I can relate to this post, but you are the one that has helped me realize I do these comparisons, and you have helped me consciously fight it. You are an inspiration and an all around beautiful person.
“There is no one you-er that you.”
Sarah says
Taralynn,
This was an awesome post! I honestly think the media is sick for putting these perfectionist standards in our brains! God made us all unique and we need to learn to embrace that, because we’re all beautiful the way we are. It’s too tiring to try so hard to be someone we’re not. Just live YOUR life and have a GREAT time doing it 😀 God bless you and your family, you’re truly making a difference.
Anna says
You are SO beautiful! You writing something like this is so humbling because it really means that everyone feels like this! Trust me, those girls were looking right back at you wishing they had the confidence to go out in jeans and without makeup.
I moved to Miami a couple years ago and I can totally relate to the Vegas syndrome that you are experiencing! Here it is more of a cultural difference than simply masking how you look. I have noticed, however, that in some ways I stick out more (in a good way) and I am more approachable than some of the super-made up and dressed up girls. It has been good for me though because I used to be pretty opposed to dressing up but now I find it fun since it’s so typical here!
Bethany Goodman says
Your honesty is profound! Vegas is an interesting place to holiday. It’s all about image there! Bright, shiny and beautiful! Money, possessions and self medication rule it’s realm. The food, my God the food! It’s just too much for me to take. I fall victim like so many others to the comparison trap. Perfectionism is a lie! There is no such thing. No perfect body, hair, house, husband, mother or anything else for that matter. Perfectionism is reserved only for our Heavenly Father! Yay! That takes the pressure off. Let’s be who God created us to be! Broken and beautiful constantly looking to Him for our strength! 🙂
johnna says
I love this article! You seem to be beautiful on the inside and outside. It’s so nice to share your thoughts, because we can ALL relate.
http://www.inallofhersplendor.com/2014/02/24/fitspiration-my-fitness-story/
Fleur says
I love this post. You just put yourself out there and I’m sure that was really hard. I’ve recently gone through the same thing, I’m writing a novel and doubts doubts doubts just plagued me! Finally I decided to kick it in the butt and pull myself out of it. One thing I did was listen to Zig Ziglar’s ‘Building A Healthy Me’. That album just totally kicks you out of that funk!! I’ve also been opening a little bit on my blog about things that are very hard to admit and it’s very hard. (Although I don’t have thousands of followers, like you!)
Thanks for this posting, sometimes I feel like my weight loss will never be good enough even though I’ve come a long way. Thanks for the reminder that I am beautiful, even if I can’t fit into my old jeans. 😀
Taralynn McNitt says
I’ll have to check that out! And writing a novel? Wow! That’s impressive. Any weight loss is good enough. It’s baby steps!:) xo
Anna says
I can´t believe you feel this way, because you are stunning on the outside but even more from the inside!!! Thank you so much for sharing those thoughts with us!
Lakeithea Nicole says
Such a great post! I admire your willingness to put yourself out there and you do inspire others to be better. I to have a hard time reading (pronouncing words) it’s always been something I was so embarrassed about in school but you know what I graduated college, own my own fashion company and studying for the LSAT. Don’t let it hold you back, you have so much to offer and show the world and one day that story will help younger girls keep pushing forward not matter the things that are tough.
Katie says
WOW! this post has really humbled me. I live here in Vegas, and its true. You do end up comparing yourself to all the other girls on the strip. I too am an A cup and have even contemplated getting surgery because i feel so insecure and like Im different then all the other “beautiful” women. it is difficult to love yourself for who you are and not compare yourself to others. but now i am going to accept me for who i am and be the best self i can be, and not stress so much. Thank you for expressing this, now i feel like im not alone in how i feel. i love your blog! 🙂
Megan says
Thank you for writing this. It’s definitely something I have been struggling with recently!!
Alissa says
I don’t think I have anything new to say that hasn’t already been said, but thank you anyway for posting this, Taralynn. As you can see, I think this is something all of us really struggle with, and your honest post is really brave and inspiring 🙂
If you are interested, I am a big fan of Brene Brown’s writing, and her book The Gifts of Imperfection is basically about what you’ve just talked about here…I love love her message and her books have helped me so much…so you might enjoy them too 🙂
Karen K says
This was absolutely beautiful! I’m glad you wrote a blog about this because I do this to myself a lot but the truth is all I can do is be the best me and stop comparing myself to others. 🙂
OliviafromFrance says
Hello,
I have been reading you for a week. I just want to thank you and to tell you how much you changed something in my live.
This article is well written, moving. It’s a source of inspiration… Thank you very much. Keep writing for us!
Olivia from Versailles, France.
Heather says
Hello Taralynn!
Long time reader, first time responder.:) So this is me: I’m turning 40 in October and I’m obese. I have alot of imperfections too, I’m only human. We are all, only human! Plus we’re females with girly problems that even some of the world top scientists can’t figure out so that’s probably another strike against us, lol. But as females, we’re strong.
Listen, this is to you and anyone else who scrolls down to read the comments. I was your age once. I get it. It’s awful. Every insecurity you feel, I felt it too. It’s part of getting older, getting wiser, maturing, going through heart break, etc, blah blah blah. But I promise you, it gets better. I’m going to guess that you are in your 20’s, right? Well take it from someone who was alot like you back then, the problem is that you are in your 20’s. It’s not high school bad because you are comparing yourself to people you are around about 8 hours a day but it’s a whole new level of insecurities such as comparing yourself to a stranger on the street who is probably thinking the same thing about herself that you are thinking. You are mostly dwelling on yourself and the people you come across in every day life. It will get better!
Your thirties are going to be amazing. You will find this new inner confidence, you have more stability in your life, you are probably in a long term committed relationship, you have a career, a stable home, etc. Life is fantastic. You’ll travel more (if you have a chance, go to Paris, it will change your life!) and you will have a whole new level of friendships that in your 20s, you can only dream of having! (Think Sex & the City friendships). I loved my 30s! I’m going to miss my 30s very much but I’m also looking forward to how fabulous my 40s are going to be!
So next time you have that unfortunate insecure feeling, just keep in mind it’s part of life. Brush it off, move on and just live the moment. Time will only allow you so much so enjoy while you can. 🙂
Keep up the good work!
Your motivation, recipes, life experiences, etc has changed my life and for that, I thank you.
Take care!
~H~
Taralynn McNitt says
wow! I loved this so much!!
Jessica says
Taralynn,
I want to tell you that you’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met. And let me just tell you that count is low. You continue to inspire and motivate people and it’s unreal. You’re beautiful inside! AND outside believe it or not! And that is something not everyone has not even the most gorgeous lady out there. Honestly.
God bless you <3
Abby says
Taralynn!
I haven’t read your blog in a little while and today I thought to myself ‘I wonder how her Vegas trip went’ and when I saw this post it was like a beacon of light saying ‘READ THIS NOW’ and am I glad that I did! So often it feels difficult to live up to the pressure we put on ourselves. I have made goals for myself that just aren’t smart. It’s like I forget that I’m a human sometimes and expect that I should just eat, look and act a certain way all the time. Part of why I have always loved your blog is because you mention that you can treat yourself from time to time and that it’s healthy to do so. I think the same applies to days when you just want to wear comfortable clothing, not wear makeup, eat that cup cake or spend a day watching bad tv. Every day is different and as long as you are true to yourself and what you feel is right, you will find balance in your life.
I am a graphic designer, which means I sit during my job for the majority of the day. I find myself getting disappointed by the fact that I’m not as strong or flexible as I want to be. I work out almost every day, try to eat sensibly and I honestly do feel healthy, but my short comings creep in from time to time, especially after a day of surfing the internet. I ask myself what more can I do, buy, eat or not eat too often and then it all starts to feel overwhelming. These days, I try to not guilt trip myself when I take time to just be and not act like I have everything together 100% of the time.
Although it takes time to get right, balance is the answer.
Great post, girl!
Andrea says
You are stunning and such a healthy, strong inspiration! I’ve loved you since pretty much the beginning of your Tumblr, and I’m the one who wrote to you about Kris Carr’s Crazy Sexy Diet (if you even remember, you have so many people who love you and write to you every day!). THANK YOU for this post! I’ve been doing Bikram Yoga and it’s releasing all these embedded emotions I’ve never fully addressed, and your post couldn’t have come at a better time. It really is incredibly difficult to admit how you feel about yourself, let alone to the world on a blog. If I could hug you right now I would! People are gonna hate, but remember nothing is wrong with you, it’s an issue they have with themselves that they need to work on and don’t know how. I love you lady! Keep up the amazing work ♡
Nena says
This is an excellent post and a really good topic. I wish more young girls would realize that they do not have to look like their favorite celebrities to be considered beautiful. Thank you for posting this!
Darcy says
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this post with us! I write about body image and my struggle with an ED all the time on my blog, but it’s always hard to press that “publish” button and know that readers can potentially rip me apart through mean comments. Your words are truly uplifting and inspiring and I admire you for talking openly with what so many of us girls struggle with internally. Keep being brave!
Ana says
Taralynn I don’t know if u read this, but I want that u know that u are like an addiction, i love to see ur blog is like my bible, u bring me a new concept of myself and okey i am a hispanic girl, from Colombia, and reading this helps me not only with the healthy life style, u make something more, because i can say that reading this blog helps me too with the english language, u are amazing !
Rina says
I can’t thank you enough for posting this. You pretty much described my life in a single blog post. I suffer from a terrible case of perfectionism, and it’s caused me more emotional turmoil than anyone can imagine. I won’t get into detail, but my lack of self-acceptance spawned an eating disorder, from which I’m still working on recovering (but making great progress!!). In addition, I feel that I have to be perfect in every way–from academics to appearance to fitness, I’m not only competitive, I’m obsessive. Thank you for writing this–it really spoke to me. I’m working on self-acceptance, and it’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who feels like this.
P.S. I’m beyond obsessed with your blog, and I think you’re an inspiration!! 🙂
Katie says
“To me, beautiful is when a person smiles, laughs, cries and loves”….such inspiring words Taralynn. Don’t EVER let anyone tell you you’re not a good writer. When you write poetry like this, which makes young women realize they are beautiful no matter what they go through with your words, well, it’s better than anything someone with a doctorate in composition could write.
Kayla Prill says
It’s so easy to forget that we are all human and we all have flaws, whether they be visible or not. I used to care way to much what people think and that led be to resorting to an extreme eating disorder just so I could be thin and pretty like other girls. I got to a point were other people thought I was to thin, while I still saw myself as the heavy girl. It took my fiance and family to make me see that I was beautiful and that I should not go to extreme measures. Now I try to focus on bettering myself as a person instead of by bettering my looks.
Laura Joy says
I am the same way! It is so frustrating! So hard not to compare yourself and feel down but making baby steps to feel better and do it less is a good thing(:
Alisha says
Holy cow! You have no idea how much idea I needed this article today. I’m in the midst of recovering from anorexia and I’m doing really well. However I feel fat and ugly all the time. Thank you Thank you Thank you for posting this! I need reminders that beauty comes from within and that my friends like me because of me! Not because of what size I am. You are such a great role model. Again, Thank you!!!
Jo says
I came across your pictures on thinspo, which led me to your Undressed Skeleton site and ultimately to here. I just wanted to say what an inspiration I find you and how much it has motivated me to stay on a healthy path! Having struggled with eating disorders much of my life, it’s refreshing to see a story like yours and to see your dedication, honesty and commitment. I can absolutely relate to constantly comparing myself to the next best prettiest, skinniest, cutest or best dressed girl in the room and it’s incredible how quickly your self esteem can drop through the floor. Anyways, I’m so glad I found your site and your story…keep it up, I can see there are a lot of girls out there who look up to you!
ferni says
I feel like that all the time… from now on I will try to love myself even harder! thanks for helping us to be better!! xx
Lauren Michelle says
I love this post! It can be so hard to remember. In general I don’t care, but there are certain people that tend to trigger the ‘comparison cycle.’ Generally they are beautiful people who I respect, but don’t know well yet. Since I don’t know them yet I feel like I’m still working on that first impression and I tend to compare myself with them in an attempt to figure out how they see me. In reality that doesn’t help our potential relationship and it certainly doesn’t help my state of mind. Thank you for this wonderful reminder!
Kathi says
Thank you a lot for posting a text like this!
It made me realize I am judging myself way to hard – just like you did – instead of accepting (and enjoying) who I am.
I enjoyed reading 🙂
Have a nice sunday,
Kathi
Valerie says
I love this post! So honest and so true! Very uplifting post, I needed this today I’m glad I came across it.
Alyssa says
Hi! I’ve been reading your blog, and really enjoy it! True inspiration on health and loving yourself and life in general!
With my personal healthy journey I’ve started and stuck with Weight Watchers to help me. I want to try your recipes- is it possible to incorporate light nutritional information? 🙂 Thank you so much!!
Bo says
Hi Taralynn
I adore you. I just thought you should know. Everything you stand for in this post is so true, and has a profound value. I think it is the key to happiness and most of all: peace.
I caught myself thinking “I wish I could do what she does”, which is exactly the point of this article! I have had the exact same thoughts, like so many others. At the moment I’m dealing with getting past and ED and old very evil habits. Your site is very inspirational and has helped me a lot. I no longer wish to punish myself through my body, but I wish to strengthen my physical and mental health. Thank you. Wish you all the best.
Tara says
Hi! Just wanted to say that I recently found your blog through Bloglovin and I’m loving it! Great everyday advice and an inspiring story. I look forward to keeping up with your blog! Best of luck blogging and with all of your workout/life goals.
Nicole says
Hi, Taralynn 🙂 I love your posts and the love that you seem to share with others I’m glad that some people in the world can see the beauty in the things that matter. Which, seemingly, seem to be the ‘simple’ things. I want to share a poem that I think means a lot to women especially during this time in history. I really want to create a blog of my own one day, to kind of have it be my journal of sorts. Maybe one day when I create one I’ll put this poem on it, but since so many girls seem to look at yours for inspiration I want to share it. The Author is unknown.
I AM DIVINE
I looked in the mirror the other day–
“You are divine” I heard a voice say
My eyes were wide with much suprise,
“Oh no I’m not, just see my eyes,
They’re much too small, I wish they were blue.”
The voice came again, “You are joyful and true.”
I looked at my neighbor with such a sigh,
“You are so thin!” was my weak cry,
She seemed quite stunned, then said to me
“Things aren’t always what you see,
I’d give anything if I were you
For you are righteous and truthful too,”
I picked a book up off the shelf
Then I knew I couldn’t live with myself
I promptly put it it its place,
“I knew you’d pick the one you should
You thirst for knowledge–That is good!”
I told my brother, “It’s not funny,
You are so rich with money!”
He said, “I’m rich, that much is true
But I would rather be like you.
You’re honest, good and always kind.
People like you are hard to find.”
It took a while but I caught on,
And soon my list of wishes was gone.
How blessed I am from up above
With God and friends and joy and love,
No money can buy these gifts of mine
I am a daughter of God, and I’m divine!
I love this poem and often reflect on it. I am imperfect also, sure, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t LIVE!Because I am me. I have a family who loves me. I love others just as much, and I am grateful for that!
Thank you for your lovely, and generously honest post 🙂
Madison Larson says
Thank you SO much for this post! I just started my weight loss journey a few weeks ago and after reading this I realized I’m doing it for all of the wrong reasons. I need to do it for me and to be healthier, not to fit into what society deems as beautiful and perfections. Your website is a total inspiration and I’m so glad I found it. I will definitely be following and using your recipes, tips, and advice. You are truly amazing.
CC says
Hey Taralynn, I’d love to know how you dealt with gaining weight. My body is pretty similiar to yours and I also used to be very underweight for a couple of years. I now eat a lot more and I really shouldn’t lose any weight again, but lately, when I don’t fit into jeans I even fitted into before my weightloss, it depresses me. I always say to myself that’s ok, I don’t let my clothes dictate the size of my body to me, but at the same time I feel like just getting fat (which I actually am far from). Besides it bothers me to spend money I really need on a bunch of new clothes.I’d love to hear what you have to say to this. Love from Germany
Nicole says
Taralynn, I’ve been following your blog for about three years now and I actually started my own blog myself but what I wanted to say is how much I look up to you. It’s amazing how you can share of your recovery! This August will be one year of recovery from bulimia/anorexia/orthorexia for myself. So thank you for everything you do and say!! You’re truly an inspiration to so many!!!
Jess says
This is spot on. Its funny because i look at you and think “I wish i looked liked that”. Its an unhealthy habit that has formed in all of us. Its sad that we cant all be satisfied with who we are and what we look like. One positive aspect out of all of this is that we have realized that our obsessions with being perfect and we have come to the decision that its unhealthy and we must start to focus on our individual beauty rather than play the comparison game. This is something i need to work on as well. One of my favorite sayings is “Be yourself because everyone else is taken” to me this speaks volumes and is a perfect reminder of why we should cherish ourselves. Thank you for your inspiring words Taralynn
Cassie says
Spot on, Tara! I think it is a trend for girls to obsess over their imperfections. At the end of the day, though, some of them are a part of us, and hey, in the future, we might actually love them!